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Mom's PD has reached the dementia stage. Everyone knows it. Her financial planner was working on financial POA and brought it over for us to look at and agree to. . I had been privately on the phone with the financial because mom is accusing me of stealing her insurance money and acting like a lunatic.. Mom denies she said it now but she has dementia HELLO? Today her financial planner who had been so sympathetic privately with me before bc her dad had dementia before he died turned around today and said that mom and I should call a priest or someone from the church to help us work through our issues and "rebuild our trust". Apparently when I wasn'st in the room mom and her fin pllaner disucssed it and thought it was a wonderful idea I wanted to tell her to f off and b**ch slap her right there. She says "Oh it's what your mother wants". I don't think a priest is the answer unless he can perform an exorcism and get rid of mom's dementia. My cousin who is #2 on the DPOA is furious and wants to call the financial plnnr and rip her a new one. (And my cousin by the way is a religious Lutheran who goes to church every Sunday and plays in the bell choir). She wants me to call a lawyer ASAP @ getting guardianship before today and now I'm wondering if I should. Don't have the funds but I need to talk to someone fast.

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Rule of thumb - if you are wondering this seriously whether you need to call a lawyer, you probably do.

I would have thought the role of the priest would be to help Mom understand that she needs and shoudl accept help - i.e. a trusted person who would be seen as above any petty family issues or struggles, and who could be primed in advance about what the real situation was. I think it is a blessing that Mom forgot about accusing you of stealing money - you probably should not have been "reminding" her about it! FAs may be many things, good and bad, but trained, sensitive counselors or mediators they are usually *not*. One of the ones who liked my parents a gret deal was hugely helpful to me, even more so emotionally than practically, but I think he was pretty exceptional.

Don't let mom's dementia embitter you if you can help it...yes it's awful, my God yes, it REALLY sucks... but hey, at least she has YOU to help her steer the way through, and a lot of folks don't have someone who loves and cares like you obviously do.
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I need to be clearer when I write. I don't want to call a lawyer @ the FA. I want to explore my legal realities re: guardianship of my mother and THAT'S why I want to know if I should contact a lawyer. Re: the FA yes, she works for a real firm and she and my mother have had a very close relationship for years. I thought that was very good - until yesterday when I felt betrayed by the FA for suggesting that a 'come to Jesus' moment was going to solve what needs to be done re: my mother. To tell you the truth I'm still reeling esp. since the FA told me in confidence how her father had dementia and she "understood just what I was going through". I would have forgiven her transgression and just dismissed it as being naïve but I guess she knows where her bread is buttered so to speak and that's why she did it. Who knows why people do the things they do right? Live and learn.
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K - is the FA with a wire house aka a real brokerage firm? If so, they will have a compliance department to deal with this situation. It will not be speaking to the branch manager either for this, compliance is going to be regional and the local office will be required to give you the name and contact info on their units compliance officer. Then you will have to follow this up a a letter on all this to compliance. I'd meet with the elder law attorney before you do this too as you want to be started to set up with guardianship game plan and then get off the compliance letter. If mom right now is on the "your stealing from me" rant this is only going to get worse. BTW compliance will have the FA in paperwork hell either way this shakes out.

I'm surprised that a FA would suggest a priest as that is way out of the norm; I can see a FA suggesting contacting an attorney, an appraiser, a Realtor, a CPA, etc. all those I can see an FA giving names of as they all have set qualifications to do what they do and state boards.

perchance has mom had any margin calls?
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K, Pursue the Guardianship and this would be a legitimate expenditure of her funds, as it is for her protection. As long as everyone is in agreement who the Guardian will be, and will sign off, it should go smoothly.
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I really would appreciate it if people would just stick to the issue and not find it a reason or excuse to fight with respondees. Shakingdustoff, let this be another gag order I'd like to place since you have served them before it shouldn't be a shock to you.
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Just to give you more of heads up. Mom's financial planner and mom are a little too friendly and I think that makes the financial planner unable to be more objective. I feel very betrayed by her and certainly have learned my lesson well regarding confiding her in THAT"S for sure. My mother is very persuasive even before the dementia so she is able to manipulate and get you totaling believing her story. One of our home care ppl tells me that if she didn't know me and just went by what mom said about me, she would think I was a total horrible person. Mom does not want the priest IN PRIVATE to confess sins. She has manipulated her financial planner into thinking this is going to be some kum bye yay moment for me apologizing for being 'so mean to her' which is crap. She wants to do and say her crazy s**t which I know she can't help but she wants me to take it and act like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm. A little hard to do. She keeps telling everyone that I don't smile anymore. A little hard to do when you're dealing with this.
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Kedwards, just don't repeat anything dustoff said when you are in front of the Judge. LOL
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Yes. Consult a lawyer.
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Please don't let the ramblings of a person with dementia upset the apple cart. If mom wants a priest, let him visit so she can confess her sins in private. If she is already demented, she can't sign anything, so you might want to talk to an attorney about Guardianship.
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