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Now she doesn't like any of the underwear I buy for her. She has dementia.

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The only place I have had luck in finding underwear that both Mom and I use [same brand name, same cut style] is on the Bare Necessities website that caters to all age groups, or you can try the ShopNational website that caters to us older gals :)
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Decades ago I helped Gramma (in her 80s, no dementia) buy underwear. The dear woman had never worn a bra in her life. The camisoles she wore were long out of style, but I finally manged to find some in a catalog and we stocked up! Old ladies get very particular about their undies. Or I should say our undies, for now I find myself in the same frame of mind. I wear things well past their throw-away point because it takes me so long to find suitable replacements.

So I feel for your granny. And for you, trying to satisfy her. The best I can suggest is to try to find new ones as close as possible to her old ones. If she wore rayon, hunt until you find rayon. Lace? No lace? Covered elastic? Brief style, or hi-cut, or boxer? Try to match as many details as possible.

And, of course, she may just have to settle for what is manufactured today. We can't turn back the calendar no matter how much we love someone.

(Have you looked at Vermont Country Store? They have some old-time items.)
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I would try to think quick on my feet when I brought new items for my loved one. When I took new panties out of the pack, I would say, OH, these are the lovely panties I got you and you know, you were right. They are the most comfortable ones I think I've ever seen. Mostly she would agree and like it. If she didn't, I say okay, you can just use these until I get your old ones back and bring them over. That would satisfy her. Of course, she would forget about it and eventually she never complained about any new items.
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Babalou, same here with my Mom, and with me also. Give us the old tried and true items. Too many times I have bought something new for myself and regretted it :P
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Are you buying her exactly the same style and fabric? My mom wanted a very particular brand and style, no substitutions were accepted.
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She may never be happy with the new underwear, but it will be mostly because of the dementia. I think sometimes we all forget that there is an actual person inside there. We tend to see them as a patient and we need to do everything for them and it has to be our way and it has to be right now. Learn from this experience. You might have gotten away with it if you'd exchanged the old for the new one pair at a time. Try telling her how lucky she is to have new underwear, that you love her and want her to have nice things. Butter her up, using your sweetest voice. That might help. Every person is different and every day will probably be different. Good luck to you. Hugs for taking care of your grandmother!
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