It’s so hard to determine what to do in these situations, isn’t it?
I agree with Bundleofjoy and Alva, the only way to get answers is to see a doctor.
I certainly know that it is tiring to take our parents to the ER over and over. I did my share of it.
It’s a frustrating situation because I took my responsibility of caring for my mom seriously, so if there was any doubt in my mind that something was wrong, then of course. I took her to the ER.
I am not a doctor. How could I know what was wrong with my mom? So, off to the ER we would go.
While it was exhausting to make trips to the ER, I never considered it a waste of time. I was relieved if nothing was wrong. If something was wrong, I was relieved that I hadn’t ignored her concerns.
Some children do have parents who are drama queens. You know, the type of people that when they are saying something to you, you may question if it is ‘fact or fiction.’ This is an extremely stressful situation and a case of parents trying to manipulate their children.
No matter what scenario you are in, it’s all stressful. Wishing you peace during these difficult times.
If I had a dime for every time I took my mother to the ER and everything was fine, I'd have a $20 bill. Dementia tends to create histrionics, anxiety, agitation, delusions, and situations that feel upsetting to the elder in spite of not being emergent. You can't treat each "zombie-like" behavior as an emergency or else you may find yourself in the ER each time mom doesn't want to do something. She'll just act quiet and shut down and WHAM, her daughter will freak out and rush her off to the ER. My mother loved the attention. When the doctors found nothing wrong with her, she'd then insist she NEVER SAID she had chest pain to begin with, or whatever it was she did say that brought us to the ER in the first place! You can imagine my angst at hearing THAT! 😑
When mom acts catatonic, take her vital signs yourself. Unless she has seriously low or high blood pressure or pulse or body temperature, I'd assume she's okay and just acting out for not wanting to go to respite care, which is a safe environment where she will be looked after while you're gone.
Just bc an elder suffers from dementia does not mean they're incapable of playing games or acting up. Sometimes it means they're even craftier than ever before! 😁
I have no clue, however, if she is like my mother, she is playing the role to stop you from putting her in respite, my mother is a real actress, she should be on the stage.
She most certainly needs a medical assessment. Having said that, the hospital tested my mother for all sorts of things, and found nothing medically wrong. (98, dementia, otherwise good health) They thought maybe she’d had a stroke, did labs, scans, everything. After a week+ of her limp noodle behaviour (IV fluids, not eating, motionless, eyes closed except to sneak a few peeks) they moved her from medical to comfort care, figuring she was at end of life. When she heard that she sat up and gave them a highly articulate earful. That was over a year ago.
Are you honestly asking us to GUESS what is wrong with your Mom?
As an RN I must tell you that I honestly have not a clue what is happening with your mother.
You did the right thing in going to the ER as a sudden change in electrolytes or a UTI is not to be missed. It seems they found nothing. So I wouldn't over-worry this.
I assume by your response to bundle of joy that you took Mom to the ER
I see from your profile that Mom has Dementia. Your first posted back in 2021 so I would say she has worsened? With Dementia it could be anything. She could be having mini strokes or absent seizures. With absent seizures, it pretty much what you discribed. They just stare off. My Grandson has epilepsy and would have them.
You say in your post that your mom was acting "catatonic" and "zombie like" but then respond that you were just at her house and nothing was wrong with her???? So now I'm confused. Is there something wrong with her or not? Acting catatonic and zombie like don't at all sound normal to me, and like bundleofjoy suggested below mom should probably be checked out by her doctor or a doctor.
get her to the ER please. it could be a thousand reasons.
you can’t ask strangers on a forum, who haven’t seen your mother and who aren’t doctors, to diagnose your mother. any answer could be completely wrong.
I agree with Bundleofjoy and Alva, the only way to get answers is to see a doctor.
I certainly know that it is tiring to take our parents to the ER over and over. I did my share of it.
It’s a frustrating situation because I took my responsibility of caring for my mom seriously, so if there was any doubt in my mind that something was wrong, then of course. I took her to the ER.
I am not a doctor. How could I know what was wrong with my mom? So, off to the ER we would go.
While it was exhausting to make trips to the ER, I never considered it a waste of time. I was relieved if nothing was wrong. If something was wrong, I was relieved that I hadn’t ignored her concerns.
Some children do have parents who are drama queens. You know, the type of people that when they are saying something to you, you may question if it is ‘fact or fiction.’ This is an extremely stressful situation and a case of parents trying to manipulate their children.
No matter what scenario you are in, it’s all stressful. Wishing you peace during these difficult times.
When mom acts catatonic, take her vital signs yourself. Unless she has seriously low or high blood pressure or pulse or body temperature, I'd assume she's okay and just acting out for not wanting to go to respite care, which is a safe environment where she will be looked after while you're gone.
Just bc an elder suffers from dementia does not mean they're incapable of playing games or acting up. Sometimes it means they're even craftier than ever before! 😁
If you are concerned take her to the doctor.
Are you honestly asking us to GUESS what is wrong with your Mom?
As an RN I must tell you that I honestly have not a clue what is happening with your mother.
You did the right thing in going to the ER as a sudden change in electrolytes or a UTI is not to be missed. It seems they found nothing. So I wouldn't over-worry this.
I see from your profile that Mom has Dementia. Your first posted back in 2021 so I would say she has worsened? With Dementia it could be anything. She could be having mini strokes or absent seizures. With absent seizures, it pretty much what you discribed. They just stare off. My Grandson has epilepsy and would have them.
So now I'm confused. Is there something wrong with her or not? Acting catatonic and zombie like don't at all sound normal to me, and like bundleofjoy suggested below mom should probably be checked out by her doctor or a doctor.
you can’t ask strangers on a forum, who haven’t seen your mother and who aren’t doctors, to diagnose your mother. any answer could be completely wrong.