So I got a threatening phone call today from the company my grandma is with. She has been yelling at the helper to "leave her alone" and hitting her in the shower. I was told if it continues then she will be seen as refusing services and that will be turned into the state and other arrangements out of my control will have to be made since she's 88, with serious dementia and a ward of the state (or so they claimed). What is out there for calming agents for dementia? I made an appt with her doctor on Monday but was trying to get a feel of what to talk to him about and what options to mention to him that has worked for others in the past. Her doctor listens but honestly doesn't seem real knowledgeable about dementia and the helping agents out there. Is there any herbs or over the counter things that might work or perhaps a certain drug or two I should mention to him to try? I don't want to sedate her as she's still walking and talking and obviously strong enough to hit and beat up people. I have tried to shave her nails down to nothing to prevent nail marks on myself and others. I have tried to avoid the triggers and set routines. She has pain relief in the terms of nerve blockers and tylenol more often than she probably should but was told she wouldn't live long enough to see the effects. She's on one dose of motrin a night to help with that time. She's sleeping wonderfully and eating great, it's mostly the dressing and the showers that set her off. is there a drug that works for an hour or so and then wears off quickly so she's calm during the shower then back to herself able to walk and talk afterwards? Just looking for ideas. Thanks.