My dad has had a long-standing mental illness, which has gotten worse with age. It's characterized by an obsessive need for attention, praise and pity. He's very good at manipulating people-- he's an extreme narcissist and also very good at hiding his mental illness from non-family members. When my mom became demented, my dad executed the successor part of my mom's medical power of attorney(POA) and asked me, the successor, to assume the role of her medical POA. This included interacting with caregiving staff and making sure that her care and medical needs were being met, mainly long distance via phone sinceI live 1200 miles away, so had to do the POA and be a liaison long distance. My dad refuses to help out, even though he lives in an independent facility near my mom. His and my interactions are mainly via phone. I've tried to be patient and understanding with him, never threatening him and always trying to be supportive of him, understanding, and encouraging. However, when legal authorities, who were investigating alleged abuse of my demented mother by her care manager, went to talk with my dad, he made the conversation all about himself in order to gain the authorities' pity. He made false statements about me, portraying me as a meddler into his finances and affairs and also portrayed me as an elder abuser of himself, none of which has any merit. Refusing to listen to my side of the story or to take the time to verify my elderly dad's statements or verify his mental status, an assistant attorney general threatened me with criminal prosecution for taking on the role of medical POA after my dad falsely claimed that I had coerced him into handing it over to me. Furthermore, she accused me of meddling into his affairs and strongly implied that I was mentally abusing him. As a result, I had to hire an attorney who strongly advised me to sever communications with my dad because, now that he's crossed the line by making these false claims, he'll continue to cross the line and tell his facility staff and/or others that I'm meddling and mentally abusing him. He had already done similar with someone else once before. My attorney warned me that if I say anything to my dad that even remotely smells like meddling or mental abuse, he could very well report it to facility staff who, by law would have to report it. Authorities would then once again believe him and not listen to me, and I would again be accused and threatened. So, I've pretty much detached from my dad, limiting communications with him to writing and keeping to very neutral topics, with no phone calls because there would be no witnesses to our phone conversations. He's now telling people that he has disowned me, and has taken steps to write me out of his will. Given his ability to manipulate, everyone believes him to be totally mentally with it and believes everything he says. Am I right to protect myself from him and his mental illness by detaching in this way and only limiting communications to writing? The assistant attorney general is very arrogant and cannot be reasoned with and refused to listen to my side,and strongly implied that I'm a liar when I tried to explain my side of the story. To her, I'm guilty before being proven innocent instead of vice versa. What are my other choices? After an initial phone call to my dad right after the threats and accusations were made to me, I told him about the threats and accusations and that they were a result of his statements. In subsequent notes, I've only mentioned it at a high level without directly accusing him for fear that he'll report me to his facility staff who will be required by law to report me. Legal authorities have no jurisdiction over me given that I live out of state. But, my attorney told me that they can make my life difficult, my legal costs to prove myself innocent could go sky high, and in the worst case, if I went to visit my dad and am in their jurisdiction, I could be arrested on the basis of his false claims. Given how disrespectfully my dad has treated me over the past 6 or more years and given his betrayal, I've decided to draw the line and set these boundaries with him. But, should those boundaries be to totally stay away from him given the situation? I'm conflicted because he's an old man with no other family but me (he has a good support system in his city to watch over him) and maybe I should be there for him. But at the same time, his total disrespect and betrayal and putting me in an untenable position with legal authorities is intolerable and unconscionable. If I reattach with him, I risk being pulled into his mental illness and manipulation and being retraumatized by a corrupt legal system in his state. Am I wrong to remain detached from him, continue to limit contact to only written communication where the topics are very neutral, and not even visit or phone him?