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Hey you guys, my Brother has been at our house for 2 weeks. The same brother who has not visited Mom since last Dec 30th almost a year ago. The bad news is Mom was Medivac'd to Anchorage two weeks ago, 5hrs Ortho Surgery. But my brother is there! It's a MIRACLE FOLKS! It's a MIRACLE!
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I am so glad for you I'm CRYING! Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy! Here is hoping your MIL wants to move to AZ to be with her sister!
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Just have to say a big thanks to OLDCODGER, or whoever started this thread. It's so good to have a reminder to focus on the positive, even if you need a microscope to find it!!!! Have a wonderful weekend all you caregivers!!!
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a few days ago i had a little extra money in my pocket so i gave it to gma & dropped her off at the casino. i got back to the house, gave the keys to my only child, told her she could take the car or take the bus but i refused to drive her to work because it was only a four hour shift.

she pulled up her ADULT pants said ok mom, i can do this and twenty minutes later she called to say "I DID IT MOM! I MADE IT TO WORK!! THE CAR DIDN'T EVEN STALL ON ME!!"

i was so happy to have the house to myself just for a little while....

when my daughter got home from work(again without stalling) we picked gma up who had a smile on her face(which meant she won) gma treated us to dinner that night.

my kid has not driven herself to work since then because driving stick still makes her nervous but i thank god & her for giving me that ONE day!!

enjoy your time alone!!!
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We had a new kitchen sink and faucet installed today. The sink was cast iron and original to the house, and just could not get it clean any longer. All pipes under sink were replaced. Just such a fresh look for a house my mom has been in in 50 years. She was at her day program when the work was done, just cannot do these things when she is here for a variety of reasons. She has now been home for almost an hour and a half, has even used the kitchen sink, and did not notice the difference which is huge! LOL!
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Started out the day with "dread" after a phone call about MOM. Then the guy came and installed my new gutters, and was so nice and did a great job. Watched the birds at the feeder, and the squirrels begging me for peanuts, and the day ended on a joyful note!! Nice people and nature......unbeatable tonic.
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This is not about respite but a nice story nonetheless. The other night I was talking with my dad about how it was the one year anniversary of Hurricane Sandy. He came to live with us soon after. His house had some damage but at 87 he needed to move out of it anyway and either go live with one of his children or go to assisted living. I said you've been here almost a year and he replied that he's never had it this good in his whole life. My husband and I really appreciated hearing that he thinks we are taking very good care of him.
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Last night I leveled with my husband that when we take a 100 mile trip to the VA, I didn't really like the restaurant we always stopped at for dinner afterwards. We'd been stopping there for three reasons -- it's near the VA, quiet; it had a dish he couldn't get near home; and for lunch on VA days we stopped at my favorite place, so dinner was his turn. ;-) He agreed! He said his dish was now available in the town near home which we visit every week. He agreed that on VA visits we'd go to the same restaurant for lunch and dinner -- my favorite, very nice and quiet, right on our way. – So that was good news, after a good talk.
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OldCodger, one of my daily thoughts for the day email - has something of what you had in mind here on this thread.

No Good thing is pleasant to possess, Without Friends TO SHARE IT.
by Lucius Annaeus Seneca
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My good news starts with bad news......My tooth fell out. Front bottom. I knew it was coming, and I'm glad it's halloween week. I'm just keeping my witch hat on. I've neglected my teeth for years due to lack of money and FEAR. They are a mess and it's unhealthy, especially being allergic to most antibiotics.
My family is making a dream come true. I have a consultation tomorrow to get all the work I need done. It will also be nice to be able to smile from my heart again. Thanks for listening to my good news. Hope you get some soon!
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Wow!,,! Wonderful, just womderful. Someday I will go on some kind of trkp with my sister, as well. Awesome news. Happy dance for you!
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My boss offered to pay my ticket to anywhere I wanted to go and also threw in a bonus to celebrate my 20th year in the company. I used my frequent flyer miles to pay for my older sister's ticket from Colorado to meet me in Hawaii. I used my credit card points to pay for 1 night's hotel expense. And the rest of my bonus on the rest of the hotel's cost. We had a very very relaxing time. Got rid of all the "touristy" stuff out of the way first thing (zoo, Bishop Museum, etc..) After that, all we did was walk, shop, eat and rest. Once I stepped on the plane, all thoughts and worries about father left my mind. I made sure I had everything covered before I left home. AND I did NOT leave my hotel's name nor did I bring my cell phone. If there's an emergency, they can deal with it. If they can't - call 911. I had a true relaxing, "boring" one week vacation! =)
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In 26 months of doing this there have been several nice things that have been done for me. The one that really sticks out above the rest was from the audiologist where my mom gets her hearing aids. When I first arrived, we had a problem with one not working. Not knowing the first thing about hearing aids then I took mom in to have them checked. Well guess what, one of them was plugged up with wax which disables the device completely. I felt a bit foolish, and it was one of the few times I had tears come to my eyes. A couple of months later, I had to take mom in for her yearly hearing test and worked with the same audiologist. She thought I looked tired and told me to watch the mail for something. She sent me a $100.00 gift card for a local spa, I was able to get a massage, facial, and even upgraded it with a manicure and pedicure. Just the thought that someone that barely knew me would do something so kind warmed my heart.
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When my patient smiles, laughs, tells jokes or flirts with her husband is bittersweet... we all smile and laugh along with her quick wit, as its not like that all the time. Makes my day :)
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Yay oldcodger! What a joy! You are so right.. The big things make us appreciate the little things..the quiet cup of coffee.. The sunrise/sunset...the little bit of outside time undisturbed. My wonderful hubby works away from home..when he does come home he takes the burden of caring for mom as much as possible. Yesterday ..I was able to take a nap and rest...last night, I just couldn't make myself get up to change moms undies..when I did get up a while ago..she was not soaked! Another happy as I would have felt very guilty and mad at myself and she would have been in distress..yay..good day so far..good attitude really makes difference.
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Sometimes I feel differently during the day. For example, when I wake up, I feel "grumpy", but then my mood significantly improves from then on. Caregiving is indeed difficult, but at least we are busy (which is a good thing), and we are doing something that is necessary.
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My good thing is that in the past two weeks I've transitioned from crutches to cane, then to walking without a cane inside my house and just using a cane when I'm outside! I can do the stairs to my sewing room and am sewing up a storm. It is soooo good.
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Awwwwh, thanks for sharing the good news. Yeah for the plans and yeah for your husband for sticking up to his mom. I was just thinking how good a day I've had at work and I just shared it with a coworker, like, let's breathe this good day in.

I agree, drinking coffee outside and getting some fresh air is a great way to start the day and a life saver for me in our small home.

Get your calendar out & start marking the days!!! Woot
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I just have a small happy.. dad likes to be doing anything "helpful".. sometimes we run out of things for him to do. Today I got all the change out of all the places it lands. Had him sort it and stack it for me to take to the bank. He was busy for an hour and half.. and very pleased with the $50.oo results! Then Mom told me his caregiver brought over alot of cards and envelopes one day and had him sort them.. genius!!! I love the simple cure!!!
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I just have a small happy.. dad likes to be doing anything "helpful".. sometimes we run out of things for him to do. Today I got all the change out of all the places it lands. Had him sort it and stack it for me to take to the bank. He was busy for an hour and half.. and very pleased with the $50.oo results! Then Mom told me his caregiver brought over alot of cards and envelopes one day and had him sort them.. genius!!! I love the simple cure!!!
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GREAT to read GOOD NEWS!!!!!! Let's keep on sharing good stuff!
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Dementia = Italian! I love that! I call if 'Part Timers' - part of the time I can remember and part of the time I cannot. :0)
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Knowing that her short term memory is poor my mum asked me if she had "Old Timers disease" I said do you mean Alzheimers and she said "yes", I said no and I told her she had dementia.. she asked me if that was Italian..lol.
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Just a bit of good news on this end. Have put off going for rehab for my shoulder - DUMB, I KNOW - but have finally started and I can tell it is getting better already. A long way to go yet (frozen shoulder :0( but I can see improvement and am FAITHFULLY doing my at home exercises in between actual PT sessions. So, things are looking UP a little. May actually be able to use my arm again :0) YIPPEE. It is so true that care givers have a bad habit of 'putting off' their own care. Sigh.

Hoping you are all enjoying some nice fall days. :0)
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Sleep - glorious sleep! Funny how we can face the world if we are adequately rested. That gets harder and harder, doesn't it? Sonswife - it sounds like you had a great wknd and so glad MIL managed well while you were away. :0) We do worry though, don't we?
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There is always time to hear positive things even from those who don't know they have them. I don't know all the things I have instore for me when I bring my mom home but, the one thing I look forward to is not leaving her when I visit that nursing home.
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Thanks for your uplifting post! I agree with you that even the little things like simply drinking a good cup of coffee can make a difference. Glad you are getting a break from all of the hard work that you do. Yes, sometimes there are "mini miracles", of things that do work out well.
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Good news from Sonswife. We went away Friday and Saturday to attend the wedding of freinds' son, spent time with 4 couples who are very good friends, spent time with our son and his family, celebrated my birthday at a beautiful winery tasting great wine. Learned on arriving home on Saturday evening that my SIL had not come to visit my MIL at NH as planned because SIL was ill. The world did not end for my MIL when family wasn't present with her for the weekend, she was in a good mood when we picked her up for church on Sunday. Also, I switched to Extended Release Tramadol at bedtime (learned about it on a post here). It controls the pain I have from my fractured pelvis all night and I've slept all night two nights in a row!!!!
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Thank you ALL for sharing. I just don't think anyone but a fellow care giver could possibly appreciate how I feel - that's why I thought about posting here. Usually I am posting something far less encouraging!

Another positive that we feel will come from this. She will know that ASL does not equal NH. She just 'may' (but we can only hope for so much) even participate in activities.

We had to laugh. She will have to pay $5 per meal. Mind you - DINNER is ordered from a MENU at this ALF :0) Served by fellows with chef's hats! This is not your run-of-the-mill ALF. She was complaining about $5 per meal.

I told her not to be ridiculous. Her Lean Cuisine's cost $3.50 each! We're talking gourmet quality meals for $5. I told her I could only HOPE to have a Spa type vacation at a 5 star ALF some day! :0) I wish I could share some of the food photos they have on their website. :0) Let's just say there is NO WAY she won't have a great time. Why can't she be as happy for us as we are for her? Guess that is asking too much.

Wishing you all a gorgeous sunset tonight............... Looks like ours is gonna be a beaut.
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Many days, my 22 year old daughter drags my husband out for some adventure or other, leaving me ALL ALONE in a silent house. Yippee!

I volunteer as a tutor at the local HS, and my last three students thanked me very sincerely for helping them.

Just looking at my husband cooing and petting his beloved kitty brightens up most days. I might dread the future, but life right now is pretty tolerable.
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