THIS ISN'T SMALL STUFF: I feel almost guilty doing this post - because I know good things like this just don't happen. I don't really know how in the world this came about - guess the planets were aligned or something. But it happened.
There is so little really GOOD stuff happening for care givers - I know. But something happened that has given me a real lift! Nothing short of a MIRACLE, actually!
My MIL's sister moved into a fabulous (think very elegant) ALF and has asked my MIL to come and visit here there. She wasn't sure if that would be allowed - but she wanted her only sister to come out for a visit and she had planned to check on it and get back with my MIL.
Her memory isn't real good - so she may have forgotten :0) Because she didn't call back right away.
2 days later and still no word. So, my MIL asked me if I could give them a call and ask if she would be allowed to come and visit. So, I called. The person I spoke to said they would have to pass it by the director. She would call us back.
3 more days and the call finally came. Every single day my MIL asked me if I had heard anything from AZ yet. Finally the call came and IT WAS GOOD NEWS. Yes, she could visit and stay up to a month for the cost of meals ($15 per day). My MIL will be staying with her sister for 3 weeks in January in sunny AZ!! She will be able to erase almost a month of Midwest Winter off her calendar!
I am nearly beside myself with joy! I am so afraid I will wake up and find out it is just a dream.
At first my MIL was just about jumping up and down (IF SHE COULD jump up and down) at the prospect of this trip. Now that her airline ticket has been purchased - she has changed her mind. She doesn't want to go. No doubt because she knows how much my hubby and I WANT her to go :0)
My dear hubby stepped up to bat and told his mother that unless she was dead or hospitalized - she WAS going to AZ and she WAS going to have a great time too! Is he great or what?
I almost hated to post this - because I know so many have it so hard and never ever get a break of any kind - let alone three weeks. But, you know, it doesn't happen often that we are cut a break!
I have found that even spending a few hours at the thrift store does wonders for my spirits. But THREE WEEKS without having to fret and worry at all about my MIL? I can barely contain myself!! I am smiling again ..................
I hope you all have found something GOOD in your day - even something much smaller or simpler. Sometimes it is hard to find anything at all to be grateful for - but we need to keep looking. I know what it is like to feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel too - been there and done that. Most of the time it is the little things that I appreciate. Good coffee, on one and only best friend's emails, my hubby 'fielding' for me with his mother, by soft memory foam pillow, a Blue Moon with and big orange slice in it. We have to take joy is the small stuff because most of the time there are no big things like this one.
Just this morning, we drank our coffee outside and it was such a pleasant start to our day. Try it - you'll like it too :0)
Please forgive me for posting this. I wish I could giver every one of you 3 weeks off too. If wishes came true - you would get to share my good fortune.
If this bubble bursts - I am afraid my sanity will be splattered all over the floor!!!
Under the category "things you'd rather not hear":
"Are you coming in?"
(My elderly father who has dementia to me when I was helping him in the shower).
My happy story is simple: yesterday I had my hair cut and highlighted. It's probably been a year since I got my hair highlighted, and I really needed it cut, so I'm thrilled!
gmaandsam, that's so cool that you enjoy doing/giving "on the sly"; kind of like a secret santa, right?
Recently I've found that admitting my tiredness and taking breaks has given me a new outlook. I kept trying to be strong (after all someone else has it worse . . .) but was feeling really stressed. I've learned to call on friends for some assistance, reduced my conversation about what's not going right, and have paid for help to get out a little more often. Dad is enjoying the break too. Looking forward to a whole day away next week!
What's your good news?
Anyway......just wanted to share such happy news. Had my first social outing since the shoulder surgery last Friday and had lunch with some friends which lasted 3 hrs, as we all hadn't been together in a while. Then I ran 4 errands and filled up the gas, and went home. Took a nap, and still slept 12 hrs that night!
Did nothing on Saturday but rest. Sunday I drove to visit a recently widowed friend about 2 hrs away. Had a lovely visit (drove with an ice pack on my shoulder secured by my seatbelt) and came home the same way. In between we went to the beach, out to lunch and had a wonderful visit.
Came home, fed the pets, and took a short nap, and again slept for 12 hrs. So this is my new plan. One day of fun, one day of complete rest--what a great life! This surgery recovery has allowed me a break in dealing with mother, and "oh, what a relief it is!"
I lost my dad, will lose my mom, did not want to lose my sis.
I hope other over stressed families will find reconciliation.
I'm sure that they have these conference in your area if you all have a National Family Caregiver Support Program...maybe they're using a different name? All I know is that this is only once a year - during the Caregiver's month.