Mom (74 y/o) moved in with me 8 months ago. We all thought she had dementia. Now, I'm pretty sure it's severe depression. She swears she doesn't have either.
A little history...Mom was never a Leave it to Beaver mom. Mom was selfish and uninterested in her kids, grandkids or great grandkids. She's always been very needy, too, running from man to man since my father passed. She only wanted to talk about herself and her men. About 7 years ago, she lived with me for a few months. She tried online dating and seemed very happy dating several men at once. She would brag, "All these men are interested in me!" She even moved to Fla once to live with a man she'd never met. Mom was ALWAYS very concerned about her appearance and what people thought about her, and she would brag about how much money she had. My dad left her with more than enough money and investments to live on. She's gone through all of it and has nothing now.
She moved into my nephew's finished basement for 3 yrs. After a little while, she stopped going to church and the only place she went was to the grocery store or a restaurant. She stopped showering and caring about how she looked. Then, she moved in with me. She's always lived with one of her family members since my dad passed in 1997. He was 60, and she was 55 then.
She always struggled with her weight and now is very overweight. She doesn't care what she eats. She won't eat good food that I prepare. Instead, she'll go to fast food drive-thru's in her nightgown and bring it home. She has difficulty walking and moans and groans all the time. Although, she doesn't make the noises when I have company. She lies in bed when she isn't smoking on the porch or reading. She doesn't even watch TV anymore. I try to engage her in conversation, but she talks very little or ignores me. That's it. I have to wash her clothes and bed linens, clean her bathroom and bedroom and do all of the shopping. I can't 'not clean' or the house starts smelling because of her incontinence.
She refuses to see a doctor. It's maddening to watch all of this. I'm a single 51 y/o just starting nursing school, and I feel helpless. A friend who has sat with dementia patients her entire life came to visit. She talked with Mom (or tried to) for a good while. She told me Mom doesn't have dementia, she's depressed. Is there any way to make her see a doctor? She needs depression meds but is in denial.