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I took care of my mom who had dementia until her constant falling had her doctor put her in a NH. I still took her to dr appts., did her laundry, visited once or twice a week, paid her bills, watched her home, etc.
Meantime, my husband became verbally and sometimes physically abusive toward me. I had help from those on this forum in dealing with that as it overlapped my caring for mom. I begin to feel as if I was the one losing their mind and my husband didn't help. He kept telling me I was crazy. Well, my two children and their spouses helped talk him into seeing a psychologist. He said they told him it was only stress and depression. Nothing else. But I went to pick up my meds and found he had been given 2 prescriptions. I picked them up too and finally he started taking them. But, by then I felt maybe I was going crazy since I noticed I would forget why I walked into a room or would say the wrong word. I contacted my doctor who gave me tests and questioned me for over an hour. Then I received more tests to take on line. The results were exhaustion and short term memory loss due to age. He said my mind was sharp and no sign of dementia or alzheimers. He was surprised I was so coherent since I have a brain tumor and take meds for granmal seizures.
Now I am only caring for my husband who has really gone down hill in the past 2 or 3 months.
So yes, I do worry I will get the same disease that took my mom. And I know he has the same that killed his mom and his dad. But, I try to stay positive now that I know what to expect and why he is violent and abusive. One of his meds is for that. And he takes 4 different ones daily.

I also try to live life forward and not backwards. I'll go as long as I'm permitted then when my number is called, I'll go. So live forward and try to put the worries aside like I am doing my best to.
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Reply to cherokeewaha
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I took care of my mom who had dementia until her constant falling had her doctor put her in a NH. I still took her to dr appts., did her laundry, visited once or twice a week, paid her bills, watched her home, etc.
Meantime, my husband became verbally and sometimes physically abusive toward me. I had help from those on this forum in dealing with that as it overlapped my caring for mom. I begin to feel as if I was the one losing their mind and my husband didn't help. He kept telling me I was crazy. Well, my two children and their spouses helped talk him into seeing a psychologist. He said they told him it was only stress and depression. Nothing else. But I went to pick up my meds and found he had been given 2 prescriptions. I picked them up too and finally he started taking them. But, by then I felt maybe I was going crazy since I noticed I would forget why I walked into a room or would say the wrong word. I contacted my doctor who gave me tests and questioned me for over an hour. Then I received more tests to take on line. The results were exhaustion and short term memory loss due to age. He said my mind was sharp and no sign of dementia or alzheimers. He was surprised I was so coherent since I have a brain tumor and take meds for granmal seizures.
Now I am only caring for my husband who has really gone down hill in the past 2 or 3 months.
So yes, I do worry I will get the same disease that took my mom. And I know he has the same that killed his mom and his dad. But, I try to stay positive now that I know what to expect and why he is violent and abusive. One of his meds is for that. And he takes 4 different ones daily.

I also try to live life forward and not backwards. I'll go as long as I'm permitted then when my number is called, I'll go. So live forward and try to put the worries aside like I am doing my best to.
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Reply to cherokeewaha
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I worry about it all the time, because I'm always blurting out stuff that is wrong. For example, I asked a teen at church what she was going to do in the summer. She looked at me like I was addled and said summer was almost over. Sure enough, it was. I comfort myself by telling myself that she is homeschooled and continued her studies way past when school normally ends.

I've always been terrible at making change quickly, because I'm afraid of making mistakes. I also get lost easily. My daughter says I'm just a ditz. Who knows?

Lately I have been using the wrong words, like I'll say McDonald's when I mean WalMart. I did some online research on that and it's called semantic paraphasia. I felt better when someone said they had a college roommate who did this all the time. Someone else said it's called "imeantia", as in I meant to say...

Anyway, I joined the research site mentioned by didiblue2 and took their test. We will see. Alzheimer's is such a horrible disease that I don't know what I would do if I really thought I had it. I would much rather die first, and go to be with my Lord.
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Reply to OkieGranny
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Adding to my original, I want to be prepared. If this horrible disease is going to be in my future, I want to plan ahead so my husband and children will not have the mess my family is dealing with. I can deal with that.
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Reply to didiblue52
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My SIL has Alzheimer's, but I don't worry that my husband will get it. Why would I put myself through that? Instead what one must do is to keep their brain active, which he does.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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I am very concerned as it runs through three generations. I found an online study through Alzheimer’s Association. It measures my reaction speed and other mind activities. I do the test on a regular basis to see if I have any changes. It was easy. This is the study site: https://www.aptwebstudy.org/welcome
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Reply to didiblue52
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I have in the past, but now I don't worry about it. My lifestyle is completely different than my mother and her mother. I read, research, math and always learning new things. And I never want to know.

I told my BF (life partner) put me in a NH and go on with your life. He told me he couldn't do that, so I told him then lock me in a room and feed me peanut butter & jelly sandwichs and still go on with your life! I would never what him to see me that way it would just break his heart!
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Reply to Shell38314
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I forget words and names, so that worries me, but I remember very well what people tell me and what I've read within the past few years and more. I worry when I forget students' names after a few years though. I run into them at art openings and have no idea what their names are. I do recognize that they were my students once.

Both grandmothers were sharp until the days they died. I have similar health history with my mom, though. I do have a better diet and get more exercise and have a very much more active life than she did. There is no way to know if this little bit of difference will save me from Alzheimer's. Worry won't help, so I try not to.
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Reply to ArtistDaughter
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Yes my sibling wants me to get check. Why does it matter? Never see that person anyway. Sometimes, rarely we will talk on phone.
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Reply to MAYDAY
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ALZ can take someone out within a year, like it did a family friend. He is the only one I know that got sent to heaven so quickly with this disease, he didn't linger on for 10 years...He was snatched up in a year . How lucky he and his family are.

one parent died of cancer and the other ALZ...

I don't want to be a burden to my family. I hope I get snatched up quickly when the time comes. They know that's what I want. In the meantime, I am trying to play catch up with family. I put them on the back burner for a long time taking care of parents at one point or another.

Now am taking care of my auntie. :)

But it's okay, she's in a board n care, and I see her almost every day. She knows who I am. And she can talk.

that's when it gets hard when ALZ takes away the part of the person and they don't speak... It gets really sad when conversation ends.. So, let them talk, even though they repeat the same thought, question, or story. Let them talk. You will miss it when they stop. I certainly did. I was warned that time will come. How sad I was when the words stopped.

If it's complaining, divert the focus by giving them a treat of some sort, milkshake, cookie, pudding, {{Put music on from their era.
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Reply to MAYDAY
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I joke that I am getting oldtymers, I think remaining mentally and physically active , as well as learning new things goes a long way toward healthy aging.

Honestly, I have always been a bit forgetful, so I don't worry about it.

I can say that I watched my maternal grandparents journey and my grandma was lost to dementia and my grandpa died with his mind completely intact, but his body gave out. I still am not sure which one travelled the easiest route.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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Oh I am not getting tested. And if you do some genealogy thing..we can upgrade you for this, because OMG you show markers for xyz. Don't do it. Don't.
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Reply to Segoline
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Yes, but I remember more than I forget...& it’s usually due to needing sleep. When you’re constantly doing chores it’s a burnout. Hugs 🤗
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Reply to CaregiverL
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Oh yes. My Mom, her Mom and Dad all have/had dementia. I am pretty worried. I don’t know anything about my fathers side of the family, since Mom and he got divorced soon after I was born and we had no contact. I had to try to find him when I applied for her Medicaid (good grief). I did find his obituary and you can believe I did the happy dance when the the obit said to send contributions to the American Cancer Society! I love the idea of sharing a list to remember. I think I’ll do that too!

I think you can be tested now for the chances you’ll get it, but I don’t think I really want to know. I’d love to hear you guys feelings about that ?
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BillieWO Mar 31, 2019
Problem is if you get tested and have it, then you have a pre exisiting condition and that can cause you problems. I figure if I have something in my genes, there’s nothing much I can do about it anyway so I try to live my life the way I want to while I still can!
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Yes. But I also remember that not all of my dad's (18!) sibs got Alzheimers. I wasn't an alcoholic, I didn't go through WWII and Korea with great wonking shells going off next to my head, didn't get hit upside the head with a sailboat boom, etc, etc, etc.
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Segoline Mar 31, 2019
18 siblings? Holy cow.
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I can so relate. I mentally run through multiplication tables. And count backwards from 1000. And remember the three things from two weeks ago my sis and I gave each other to remember for our test. Mine is yellow flag hotel. Hers is green sweater table.

Gah!
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pamzimmrrt Mar 31, 2019
Oh god I cant remember when the Dr asks Mom that.. LOL But I can sure tell everything she ate for the last 3 days.. LOL
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All the dang time! And I have a friend in the same boat, she will not even address her fears with the DR in case it gets in her chart and negates any future LT insurance plans she may take out. But most of the time I tell myself it's stress and lack of sleep. Fingers crossed
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