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I had posted about our brother taking our mothers money. Well, my sister and I visited her last week and here is what we found out. We went to the bank where they have a joint checking account. She had only $32.00 in the bank. We asked to see all of the statements and every single month, he had been writing himself a check from $600-$1000 monthly. Mom was floored. We left with all of the statements and studied them in the hotel room that night. He also had a safe deposit account set up for her in another city. We stopped by there, and guess what? The money was gone. We figured at this point he had stolen over $50,000 from her in less than two years. We went back to her bank and had a draft amount of $400.00 sent to my account every month so he couldn't touch it. When we got back to Mom's, she called him and asked where the money went. I took the phone from there and asked him. He started stuttering and said $150 for groceries, $150 for meds and then said it was none of my business. He then hung up on me. Well, we went to the drug store to get a listing of her meds every month. Her bill is only $13.07 MONTHLY. Then, I started thinking that he would probably put a stop payment on the draft. So I called my Mom yesterday and told her that I was going to put all of her SS money in my personal account. We called SS on a three way call and as of Aug. 3rd, all money will be in my account. He has the POA and if he wants the money to pay her bills, he has to provide a list and produce receipts of everything he needs ONLY for Mom. Then, I will reimburse him, maybe. Because he has POA, he still has to take care of her. I would love to be a fly on the wall when his checks start bouncing and he has to use his own money to cover them. Mom doesn't have any checks and all of the signatures are his. Hope he is enjoying his new Mercedes SUV. By the way, ADT is coming to my house to install outside cameras tomorrow as a precaution because when I was talking to him on the phone, he sounded like a rabid dog who could have come through the phone and bitten my head off. Sometimes, you just have to think out of the box and fight fire with fire. And just so you know, I will pay all of her bills if he doesn't. She can have steak and lobster every night if she wants it! Thanks again everyone for your words of wisdom in this matter. Bye bye Mercedes!

Since your mom is mentally competent, would she be willing to press charges against your brother?

I would also get a second legal opinion, preferably from an elder law attorney, and contact APS to see if you have a case for elder exploitation and abuse of fiduciary responsibilities. AND, get the POA transferred, as well as mom's funds transferred to a new account in her name ASAP since your mom is able and can do this.

My sister stole $30K from my mother's savings in less than 6 months while a guardianship proceeding was going on. I was appointed my mom's guardian earlier this year, but we go back to court on the 31st on a motion mom's attorney filed to hold my sister accountable for and make her repay the funds.

I'm very sorry you are going through this. It is sad when siblings feel that they are entitled to steal just because a parent is elderly and/or disabled.
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Reply to FrazzledMama
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POA medical or health care proxy is responsible for decisions for personal/medical care. POA financial is responsible for financial business.

Why is he still POA as he has abused that position? Even if it is revoked now he is still responsible for his past decisions. I think it weakens your case for him to be allowed to continue. I am glad the DOJ and social services are involved. What he has been doing is elder abuse. That should not be taken lightly.

The horse is sig other's fave stallion, Golden Rivers, hence my name. He is a beauty.
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I am getting the DOJ and Social Service in their county involved now. Looking at the POA, he is responsible for Personal Property Transactions, Banking transactions, Safe deposits (which he wiped out), tax matters and gifts to charities.
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I haven't read all the posts but have to say a POA is not responsible for the person physically. His duties are making sure that her bills are paid. On my POA I had the right to sell Moms house. He would be the one to set her up in a home. I would not trust him to "care" for her. I would not want him to make decisions for her. And, I think the lawyer is wrong. As joint on the accounts I would think she is entitled to half. So he owes her. I would revolk his POAs.
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DeeAnna - good question. I'm pretty sure she has a living will. Believe me, there will be no money left to inherit, and I really don't care anything about the money. According to the new laws in our state, the POA has to produce receipts on what he spent and he is unable to do that since the checks written to himself have no notes on the memo line. At no time did my Mom allow him to do what he wanted with it. He was supposed to set up an investment account which, obviously, he didn't do.
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I think that you need to review some of the posts on this website about the POA who is/was a thief and what they did. Then I think that you need to reconsider letting the brother be your Mom's POA. She needs someone who can be trusted to take care of her money for her no matter where they live. It is not a requirement that the POA live in the same town as the person. Does your Mom have a Living Will or Health Care Advanced Directives? Also, does your Mom have a Will and who is the Executor of that Will? You may want your Mom to change that to if the Executor is your brother, because any money that you are suppose to inherit will most likely "disappear".
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One more thing - I have contacted the DOJ in our state. Apparently, it wrong for him to take the money without Mom's permission and he DOES have to provide written receipts for everything he has taken!
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Just so everyone knows, it was Mom that agreed to the new arrangement. We did a 3 way call to SS to get everything set up yesterday.
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I believe we will need to contact the pastor at their church and see if they can offer some spiritual guidance!
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Yes, he has a key to her home. She has nothing of value in there. She split that up years ago.
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Ahmijoy - speaking of unhappy camper, they do have 4 airstream campers as well as a camper van. The only weapon I know he has is a Ruger left to him by Mom when Daddy died. I'm sure he sold it since it was from WWII. He used to be a civil engineer and is very intelligent. We just never knew this was going on and I'm glad we were able to stop the hemorrhaging when we did. He was always telling Mom there was no money in her account, and now we know why!
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does he have a key to her home? i would be afraid he could take items of value, like jewelry coins or collections. family heirlooms etc.
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freqflyer - I just am worried if I put her name on my account, he can still get his greedy little hands on it. I am putting this in a separate account just for her needs. Also she is getting Medicaid and Medicare. Do I need to contact Medicaid and have them look at the joint account between my Mom and brother? Maybe they can ask where all of the money has gone! If he gives me an itemized list of just her needs, I will transfer the monies into their account, but not one cent more.
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Wow. Brother is going to be one very unhappy camper come August. Once they’re off the lot, cars depreciate big time and he’ll have to default on his loans. His credit will go in the toilet. Wifey won’t like that much and will probably leave. Lord knows what he will do or how much it will take to put him over the edge. You may want to invest in a large dog with a bad attitude. Does he have weapons as well? Yikes.

PLEASE come back often, if only to let us know you’re ok.
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bhartley127, regarding putting your Mom's social security into your checking account, it would be much better if Mom and you had a new joint account where Mom's checks are placed.

Co-mingling money can become sticky later on if there is a chance that your Mom may need to apply for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare]. Medicaid does a 5 year look back on financials, and if the money is co-mingled, then Medicaid will ask for proof as to which entries belong to Mom and which entries belong to you.

My Dad had a checking account set up that way where his income came into that joint account, and I was able to write checks for any of his bills. I also kept copies of the bills/checks in a 3-ring binder so an auditor could follow the paper trail.
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Golden23 - beautiful horse! It doesn't really matter about the joint checking account now. There is only $32.00 in it. Our family wasn't fractured over money, it was fractured 20 years ago when my brother met his wife and they both 50/50 fractured our family. Great suggestion about the local agency for aging. Thank you for that information. I'm on it! Luckily I work for a very generous company and I have more vacation time off that I could ever use in a year! Don't worry, she will be taken very good care of by my sister and me!
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bhartley - I am a distance caregiver -5 hrs drive away from my mother and am still able to perform all the POA duties medical and financial. IMO while your mum is still capable she should change her POA and executor to you and your sister. Your bro has proven he is not acting in your mother's best interests. She is alert now but that can change quickly at her age. This is not about convenience but about what is best for your mother and what arrangement will meet her needs now and in the future. He is accountable to your mother for his spending of her money and she can demand that information from him.

You could contact your local agency for aging and APS regarding the best protection for your mother. As well as revoking the POA, your mother should take him off the joint account immediately so he has no right to her money.

Many here have found that when money is involved people change, or show their true colors and families are fractured. I am so sorry about this happening in your family, Your bro obviously does not have your mum's interests in mind.
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I am going to have a sign put up in my front yard with two fake names on it. I am thinking Rick and Brianna Donaldson. My neighbor is an artist and she is going to paint it for me. If he does come up here, I want him to think that someone else lives here. Even though I own my house, I could be renting it out to a couple. I am still one of the few that has an actual panic button on my alarm. I am prepared for almost anything right now. I work at home, so I'm always around. He doesn't know that, and I certainly doubt that he would come here and sit around until I came out, which is only about once a week. May be time for a CWP. At this point, I am expecting about anything from him.
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NO - Mom doesn't have a gun! I do! Her neighbors do look after each other. Yes, he is executor of her will. I had to use a lot of brain cells to outfox him on this one. Oh, he will be one mad dog come the 3rd of August when there is no money there. The checks will start bouncing and he will have to cover all of them. He also may have to sell his boat, or Expedition or even that awfully pretty Mercedes SUV. I'm just happy with my 2000 Volvo and finally peace of mind!
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Mom has a gun? Um. That can work both ways. I hope she has the sort of neighbors who look out for her. We live in a semi-retirement community as well, and everyone pretty much ignores everyone else.

I suppose prosecuting him wouldn’t prove anything if her money is gone. It would just be a moral victory. Is he executor of her will as well?

It does sound like you have a good handle on this situation now. What Brother has done is surely morally reprehensible and I’m sure Karma will pay him a visit sooner or later.
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I actually do have another question. Since the checking account is in both of their names, can't he just do with the money what he wants to?
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Ahmijoy she lives in a retirement community with neighbors all around her. Currently, I do have ADT, just upping it to 3 security cameras outside. Also, I do have a .38 special and very close and protective neighbors. As for the checks he has written to himself, that's when he got angry and said it was none of my business. He can't produce any receipts because that money has gone to himself and not to Mom. By the way, the police department where she lives is one street away from her home. My Mom is 93 and in good health and very alert, thank God for that! I think I will invest in a alarm to go around her neck. She also does have pull alarms - one in the bedroom and one in the bathroom. Funny thing is, my brother and I used to be best friends until he married a money hungry witch. Being extremely nice with that word!
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Ahmijoy, who did you have to provide an accounting to? This keeps coming up and I am so curious who is entitled to this information.

I am my dads POA, handled all of his money and bills and no one has asked or told me I need to provide that accounting. I would be happy to if required but quite frankly its no ones business but my dads and he has been very happy, more available money now than for years.
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You’ve done a terrific job looking into this mess and looking after your mom! I’m afraid this is all too common. I do think POA needs to be changed though, thieves are thieves, and I’m afraid of the ways he could think of to misuse it. There are plenty of distant POA’s that do fine
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BHartley, I'm glad you have things worked out so mom will be financially taken care of.

The pond scum, the pond scum feeds off that the bottom feeders eat is what elder abusers are. I'm sorry that your mom has had to go through this with her son, it must be heartbreaking to discover your own offspring is so low down.

Hugs to you, your sister and mom.
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I don’t know, b. I’m not sure I would trust Brother now that his jig is up, so to speak. I get the feeling Mom’s care was not first on his list and for sure it’s not going to be now. Being POA is not the same as being a Caregiver. He is not obligated to “provide for her”, just oversee her financial issues. The way the situation is now, I wouldn’t trust him. 

 You described him as a “rabid dog” over the phone. Sounds like he’s on the edge and now that he’s been found out, I’d be afraid for Mom’s personal safety. You must be also if you had a sophisticated security system installed. It may be “convenient” for you to have Brother around for Mom, but I wouldn’t trust him. As POA, he MUST produce receipts of what he’s spent on Mom. I was on a joint account with my mom and also her POA and I had to produce receipts since she was the primary on the account.

Were it me, I would forgo convenience and hire a caregiver for Mom. Relying on the occasional kindness of friends or Uber is fine, but I think she needs someone with her for more than transportation. The caregiver can shop for Mom, take her to doctor’s appointments, do personal care, etc. I’d get shady Brother out of the picture completely and dismissed as POA.
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CarlaCB - that money is long gone! And I actually prefer lower than a slugs belly or bottom feeder! :) Wait, does a snake have a navel?
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Well, they live in the same city, withing about 2 miles of each other. I'm about 120 miles away and my sister lives in NV. We figured that if he has POA, he still has to provide for her. He is retired and I am still working. At least we know that Food Lion will deliver her groceries if needed and her drug store provides free delivery. She has friends that still drive, so she can get out with them occasionally. If she wants to go somewhere to shop or to the doctor and no one is available, there is always UBER or LYFT which I will gladly pay for. I talked to a lawyer and there is no basis for criminal prosecution since both names are on the account. If for some chance, he doesn't take care of her, there WILL BE H*LL TO PAY! Funny thing is, he is supposed to be such a good Christian. His license plate even says 4GIVEN! What a hypocrite!
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Ahmijoy: "I would have taken it further and had Mom revoke his POA. Consult with an attorney to see how to transfer the POA to you and/or your sister."

Yes!!! Why does he still have POA????? i would also consider criminal prosecution (on the advice of an attorney).
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Ahmijoy: "I would have taken it further and had Mom revoke his POA. Consult with an attorney to see how to transfer the POA to you and/or your sister."

Yes!!! Why does he still have POA????? i would also consider criminal prosecution (on the advice of an attorney).
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