This afternoon my loving husband of 32 years asked a question I was dreading to hear. “Why don’t I remember you?” I’m devastated, help me.

This is very devastating. When this happened to me - at first (literally the first year), even though I expected it, its still crushing.

Eventually, I stepped into the world of Alz/Dementia and did the only thing I had the energy left to do so I ended up just almost like playing along. Eventually I got to a point when I would walk in and he would be nasty or say he didn't know me and I would say, 'oh - we met the other day but there was a lot going on' blah blah blah....And if he said anything nasty, I would say the same thing to him as I would anyone else in the world being nasty for no reason. But, there's not really any nastiness - more confusion I would say.

I actually ended up starting a new 'friendship' with my husband who didn't know me. Sometimes he did & sometimes he didn't, but I let him lead the way. Whatever his topic of conversation for the day - I played along. He would say, 'do you remember.......' and he would talk about some bizarre story and I would just listen and play along. This is an awful disease and sometimes we have to remember it's a terribly lonely disease for all involved.
I hope this helps you.
God Bless.

His mind is deteriorating , but his Spirit is intact.
You might try telling him that he is transitioning from mortal to immortal, and the data is in process of transferring to that new data base, so, sometimes, he doesn't have immediate access to it.

Imho, keep reminding your husband that he is loved, you are his wife and you will be with him. Prayers sent for this horrific disease.

This is very sad. I know I will face it some day and I admire your ingenuity using photos which I think would comfort him. It must be terribly frightening to think you are in a home with a stranger. Living in a nightmare. So as painful as this is for you, he is suffering too. It is a progressive disease and unfortunately, all these wonderful suggestions will eventually fail. Talk to friends, meditate and if you are religious, ask God for comfort.

This is sad, but very normal for dementia patients. My mom thought that I was a nurse, a man, or the "other Andrea," even though I was with her EVERY day, yet she remembered my sister, who visited weekly.

The first time they forget you, is devastating. But, it tends to come and go. Hallucinations, delusions, and paranoia are also a huge part of Dementia. You will learn to distract, deflect, and use therapeutic lying.

Just make sure that you join a support group, so that you can have a place to vent.

The Alzheimer's Dementia Caregiver's FB Support Group is a great place to get help and support.

I'm glad you were able to share memories with him and explain what is happening. It has to be one of the hardest things in life to see someone so very close to you lose the memory of you and the life you lived together.

Eventually, the response you give might be only, "I am here to care for you in sickness and in health, (Husband), until death do we part," because that says it all.

donnamarie58,
I am so sorry that you're husband is showing signs of serious memory loss. I don't know why it's YOU of all people whom he can't recall but the same thing happened to my mom and dad. When my dad was in mid-stage of Alzheimer's and still 100% verbal, he went through a lengthy period of paranoia and confusion where he was sure my mom was one of his former students who had come to visit and refused to leave their house. He would call me from inside a closet and ask me to come over to tell the person (my mom) to leave. Sometimes I could distract him well enough that he'd break out of that thought loop but after a while, my mom started going along with it, and she'd kind of pretend that she was a former student and ask him to explain things. For the last 2 years of his life when he could no longer speak he most certainly recognized my mom (and us kids) as a familiar presence and would smile and pretend to converse with us. That was better than being mistaken for a stranger, for sure!
Hang in there,
Marya

Awe. That is so sad to hear. Im sorry that you have to deal with this. It is the one of the hardest things to have to watch and feel. Unfortunately they cannot pick and choose what their minds are doing.
I have been taking care of a man for over 5 yrs. He is 87 and I am 48. He will sometimes think I am his ex wife. Sometimes he does not remember my name and the sometimes he does and other times he plays and says my name is Alice. Lol. Which of course is not even close. But he knows on those days....I just laugh and say ...really ? He says nooooo....and says my real name.
I guess that my advice would be this as this is what I do to help myself and my feelings...he likes polka so I put polka on when bathing him. He likes to hear me sing so I put my music on and sing. I engage in conversation and memories of his past. I know his likes and always go to them if he is having a hard day. I also share about me. It's amazing how he can remember everything one day and the next nothing. I know his worst confusions and have tried to remind him but this has not been very successful and was making him agitated, so I just let him go with them now. Like his daughter is his sister. That's been around for a while so I know who he is talking about and just let him.
I know this is hard. Especially for you as it is your husband. I don't know if you have help coming in or not but I think it would help you. You are only 63. You need to still live a life or you will get depressed. So maybe have someone come and be with him a couple times a week and go have fun. Maybe bingo or lunch or gambling or shopping. Lol. I wish you well. Being a caregiver is hard mentally, but it is hardest when it is for the one you love. I give you big hugs!!!

A few years ago a dear friend confided to me that her husband told her he loved her, but that he also loved his wife - because he no longer knew who she was. She let him know that she loved him too, and that it would be OK with his wife if he lived with her. Some times he did know who she was but generally he didn't. She decided that having a peaceful, loving home was more important than anything else. She stayed calm and loving for the few years they had left, and cherished very day they had together despite the obvious challenges.

This is so hard to accept, but it doesn't have to mean the end of the relationship. As for why you or my friend and not everyone else, who knows? This can be neurological, generally from a very limited stroke, a form of visual agnosia such that he doesn't recognize you. (I have had patients that cannot recognize themselves even though they recognize their spouses.) Try watching the movie 50 First Dates (with him if he can sit through a movie). It might give you ideas, and it might help him to understand.

In the meantime, please protect yourself for the future. Make sure you have the legal and fiscal ability to care for him and yourself.

If there's a bright side to this, it's that the OP's husband at least recognized that something was wrong. In so many cases, the spouse or other family member is thought to be a complete stranger or even a criminal who has broken into the house.