She has lost 20 kilos over 2 yrs n is frail. Was incubated n has mouth thrush. She has rheumatoid n various other health problems. She is not active but can get around the house. Lives with my family but we work full time. Told me she doesn't eat much coz she not hungry n gets to tired to go to kitchen n heat up a frozen meal. She won't eat fresh fruit or vegies. Yesterday she had a west bix n water for brekky a jam donut for lunch - only thing she likes at present. She would maybe have 100 grams chicken breast for t when I tell her that I am worried. She also doesn't eat red meat because it makes her Cough. She doesn't like the taste of food since the incubation 2 years ago. She is happy living here with us but I am fearful that she is starving herself

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You mean intubation, right? Loss of taste and smell is common in older people and intubation can damage the sense of taste as well. Loss of appetite can be caused by various medications, but there are meds to enhance it as well. A loss of 40 lbs (20kg) is very serious, unless she was overweight to begin with. So the big question is, what is her ideal weight? If she is less than 90% ideal weight, you might ask the MD what to feed her.
Weet-bix are really good for her! Instead of water, would she take cream? Can you make some weet-bix banana nut muffins for her? Look up weet bix recipes and maybe she will snack on some.
Offer cheesecake, it is soft and easy to swallow. Try a coconut custard donut.
Look for high calorie foods like ice cream, cheeses. Peanut butter with honey.
33 grams (1oz) peanut butter gives her 210 calories. A chocolate iced custard filled donut is 310 calories. Cook her chicken in butter to raise the calories for her.
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^^^ wish we could edit our post after writing. The first sentence should start "If someone isn't getting any exercise...."

My brain is on overload :P
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Anyone someone isn't getting any exercise, their appetite will go down. Thus, at 82 there isn't a whole lot of activity she can now do. Unless you can get her interested in doing simple household chores to keep her moving about.

Elders seem to enjoy eating sweets because as one gets older they tend to lose their sense of taste, but can still taste surgery items. My Mom is 96 and half her grocery list are sweets, I believe she and Dad have deserts after each meal. I won't change what they eat as I decided they both lived into their 90's eating that way, so be it.

Check your grocery and see if they carry a product called Ensure, it's liquid drink that comes in different flavors that are adult therapeutic nutritional drinks. Some elder enjoy drinking it. I don't know if their product is worldwide or not, we have it here in the States.
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