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Hello, I think my dad has dementia but he refuses to go to the doctors. Will the doctors let me make an appointment on his behalf? I don't want him to know that I have called because he will refuse to go and possibly get aggressive with my mum (verbally) but I feel I have to do something as he’s getting worse. Is it feasible to ask the doctors to send him an appointment letter as if it’s just a routine check up?

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If you are from another country, your health system is so much different than ours. So we have no idea if you can or can't make an appt for Dad. Here we can. I made all Moms appts so I could work them around my schedule. Easier than her calling, getting a time, then not be convenient for me. Then she had Dementia and I had to make them.

Medicare does ask that we have a yearly check up that they cover. Its not mandated but thats what some of us have had to tell LOs to get them to see their doctor. So if in the US, maybe you can try that strategy.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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We are just a bunch of caregivers from around the world so we would know little about your dad and your dad's doc. Medicare demands a yearly screening now of all patients which most doctors do just by "seeing" patient once a year. They can tell by speaking to you about your meds and etc. how you are mentally. So first a few questions:
1. What makes you believe dad is developing dementia.
2. I would begin a list of questionable things you observe. I would send them to the doctor and tell him that you suspect dementia, and you cannot talk dad into an appointment.
As you said, as doc if it is feasible (question is for him/her, not us) to send an appointment card for annual physical.
Give the doc the list you compiled of what leads you to worry.

Now if you want to manage things for Dad it is time to get that POA done BEFORE dad is too wonky to do it. Because otherwise you will not be able to act for him with doctors, bankers or anyone else in order to protect him.

I wish you the best. You can only do so much. After you do that you just await "the call" which will come, and undoubtedly lead to hospitalization where you can get the Social Workers on board.
Good luck.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Suzy23 Jan 19, 2025
I agree generally but I think OP may live in the UK based on “mum” and things are different there from the US
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