Within the last week and a half, police here twice, once a fall and then thought someone was in the house and left to go to a neighbor she doesn’t know at midnight. I haven’t slept in 4 days and dreading the night...literally up all night. I now sleep here.

Nursing home. I've been taking care of my mom all my life. My dad passed away 15 yrs ago and she had already started to exhibit early dementia symtoms, diagnosis confirmed in '07. She wouldn't stay with me "because I need to be in my own home". After several serious falls, I told her I wasn't taking no for answer. She was staying with me and her paranoia, bipolar, schizophrenia, psychosis with a behavioral disorder, Lewy body dementia and Alzheimer's reared their ugly heads. It has been a hell of a ride. She had good days and bad but now 8pm-9pm she starts sundowning and with everything else thrown in she is giving me anxiety attacks. Doesn't sleep, yells and screams. We share a room, because I have my son and his family living with me so my daughter-in-law can be her provider. I am disabled and cannot take care of her like I used to.
Once she gets to a place in time when she worked NOTHING will distract her, cannot redirect her and she becomes agitated. I have lost count as to how many different meds I have tried on her. She is in hospice for Alzheimer's and DVTS. It's 1:30 a.m. (early for her) but she finally fell asleep. I am a retried nurse, ironically my specialty was Geriatrics, Alzheimer's. Each day it is becoming more and more difficult to deal with her illnesses but I promised her I would never put her in a nursing home. So here I am, thanking God for each day but also praying he gives me patience and strength to keep going. It's very hard to live like this but I chose this path and I have 3 sisters, two who are nurses, too. But they don't want to take care of her and don't even come to see her. So, when I said nursing home, do it. When it becomes difficult and your health and sanity are at risk, do it. Put her in a home. You won't be stressed out when you visit her, you will enjoy and cherish the time you have left and won't grow to resent her, because, really, she isn't the same person she was before this cruel disease took over her mind.
I have told my family I'm leaving explicit instructions to be placed in a home if I get dementia. It is a very difficult road you choose when becoming the caregiver for a loved one. My mom has been with me for the last 7yrs. She has good days but of late more bad days. She's been bedridden for a year. I know it's been hard on her and she's not the same person she used to be. On her good days she jokes around, dances with her arms and is good but come nightfall it is something else.
I love her dearly and I will continue to take care of her until God calls her home. My mom is 94 yrs old.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Exhausted247

Having every single thing happening to my mother. Horrible Sundowning had been going on for 1 1/2 years. I am going through this this very second. My Mom has been so bad, finally this past week I voted evening caregivers. Everynight at 10 p.m. she started leaving her house. Got lost, woke up the neighbors, locked herself out. 2 days ago I found her on the bedroom floor in the morning where she had fallen. Called E.M.S. Nothing broken. Hospital is having an awful time with her. She is in the middle to late stage Alzheimer's dementia. Tomorrow I meet with hospital social worker. Everyone the last 3 years has screamed memory care at me. I've taken care of her for 6 1/2 years since my Dad died in her own home. I decided I cannot go on this way any more. Is has taken a long time to get here for me, but I have to let her go and let the memory care place take care of her. I decided I matter too. That's why I'm awake right now at midnight! Grace and Peace. This all is awful.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to BootShopGirl

Has she been checked for a UTI. Confusion can drastically increase with any infection. She sounds like she is living alone. That obviously will not work any longer. Hopefully you have shopped facilities and have a plan in place. If not, time to go shopping. Do not take mom, you do it and make the decision, she is not able to.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to gladimhere

Tomorrow morning, start searching for a facility for your mom. She is not safe at home and you are on the Express Train to Burnout. She need 24/7 Care and supervision. This is beyond putting up surveillance camera and locks on doors. She needs to be someplace they can supervise her.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Ahmijoy

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