I just don't get it. He's wildly erratic, overspending online — like three to five purchases a day— making sexually inappropriate comments, he wrecked his room at the AL because he was pissed at me because I wouldn't drive him somewhere, he's decided he's going to take a bus for 25 hours to rekindle his relationship with his first wife he divorced in 1971, and now he's decided AL is too expensive so he's moving out, taking me off all his accounts, and getting his own apartment. (When I moved him out of his house to the AL, I had to call a hazmat company to clean it — the kind you call when someone has a fire or a flood. No regular cleaning company would come. But he says he can clean and cook just fine and AL is too expensive).
And yet, he's been to the neurologist, he's got a regular doctor. As long as he can count backwards from ten and remember three words ten minutes later, they say he looks like he's totally fine! Why don't they see what I see? Is there any solution to this madness? Everyone (including my siblings) seems to expect me to "solve it" and "don't let him do that" but unless he's got a diagnosis, I can't do anything legally. Even with POA (which I have). Why do they keep saying he's just got a little age-related cognitive decline when he's turned into this monster I don't recognize?
You cannot solve this, if he leaves AL he leaves, let him figure it out.
I would sit back and enjoy the peace, as it won't last, he'll be back.
It's very possible for a person with a form of dementia to be able to remember three words ten minutes later. Or count backwards from ten. His other behaviors are the indicators.
If you have the POA, have him picked up by the police and brought to the ER. They will hold him for an evaluation.
In the meantime, why was he in AL if he functions so well?
You should tell your sibling that either they take over the POA or you will ask the hospital to appoint a social worker to do it. Get your name off of those documents as soon as possible.
Nothing will get done for your father until a crisis happens. Unfortunate as this sounds, it's true. Don't take responsibility for it.
How did you get him chucked away into ALF while you stayed home if he has no dementia?
No, a POA cannot be inforced unless the courts adjudge someone incompetent, and there needs to be medical evidence to that effect.
The first step, of course, is to see an attorney ASAP as in TODAY to get your finances divided so that your money is safe. That should have been done day one of the irratic spending.
Other decisions, such as a divorce, can come after.
Sure do with you luck. Sounds like a nightmare and one that could financially wipe you out if you aren't careful. See an attorney NOW.
Lewy body dementia signs and symptoms can include:
Visual hallucinations. ...
Movement disorders. ...
Poor regulation of body functions (autonomic nervous system). ...
Cognitive problems. ...
Sleep difficulties. ...
Fluctuating attention. ...
Depression. ...
Apathy.
Also if he is a risk to himself or others, you can tell staff to send him to the ER with a 72 hour hold called "Baker Act"