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So they can send him somewhere else. I feel like they are just passing the buck. I thought they were going to try to have him placed in a nursing home. I guess that is not possible at the moment. His diagnosis is dementia/Alzheimer's with agitation.

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AngieH63.One... of the first things that Caregivers are told is ...You need to take care of yourself.
If you are being hit, abused in any way you call 911 and tell them that you are being abused and that you are afraid for your safety. Tell the dispatcher that the person hitting you is your husband and that he has dementia.
If there are any weapons in the house you need to secure them so he can not get hold of them, You should tell the dispatcher if there are any unsecured weapons in the house.
You should contact his doctor and tell the doctor that he is becoming violent. There are medications that can help but it can take time to find the correct medication and the correct dose. And with abuse often there is not the time necessary to find the right dose while he is at home so hospitalization is often necessary.
And there is a possibility that he may be better off in a facility and you will be safer with him in a facility.
PLEASE take care of yourself.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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JoAnn29 Thank you so much for asking. My BIL is doing really well. The psychiatric doctors done an amazing job with him. They are some of the best around.

My BIL is not the same person. The doctors brought his mind around, he is no longer falling and is not having any behavior issues at all. He finally got placed into another Memory Care Facility in the exact area.

Who knows what would have happened if it wasn't for these good doctors.

The SW of the hospital asked the owner's of a Memory Care Unit to come and look at my BIL in person. They said they were impressed and accepted him.
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Angie,
It would be most helpful if we knew what his actual diagnosis is.
Truly, where he needs to go and the help he needs depends on his diagnosis!
God bless!
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AngieH63 Sep 2, 2020
His diagnosis is dementia/Alzheimer's with agitation.
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Hospitals cannot and will not keep a patient. He will have to move to a facility that is designed to care for him. People cannot stay in hospital forever because they prefer it. If you continue to refuse to participate then guardianship of the state may be requested. He is likely too ill to be placed in a nursing home, and may in fact never be able to leave the facility, sadly. Refusing to cooperate in this won't go anywhere good. I am so sorry you are faced with this.
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They aren’t passing the buck. This is your decision to make. You’re his spouse, his next of kin. Otherwise you can let the state take over and then you won’t have any say in anything involving his care.
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I don't understand, why do YOU have to petition anything? What exactly does that mean? You really don't have to do anything, except to make sure you don't take him home. It is up to the Psych doctors to treat him correctly and the social worker and case manager to find proper placement for him.
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AlvaDeer Sep 1, 2020
I think this is guardianship to permanently or temporarily commit to mental care facility, Mstrbill. If she doesn't accept guardianship and the responsibility they will almost certainly get guardianship of the state as he has been hospitalized already a really really long time without apparently any help in the matter. Perhaps that is for the best, but she will have ZERO control if it happens.
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If the doctors at the hospital can not get his behaviors under control then he is not at the right hospital.

My BIL was sent from hospital to hospital trying to regulate his medications to get his behaviors controlled. They could not do a thing with him.

My husband and I knew a good area where they had good doctors to treat behaviors. Once he was moved there, he was a different person.
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AlvaDeer Sep 1, 2020
It seems he needs a pschiatric unit perhaps permanently. Other placement may put himself and other patients at severe risk. Not everything has the good answer.
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I agree with BarbBrooklyn...His behavior must be under control before they can do anything. And locating a Nursing Home that will accept a resident that is on medication for psychiatric reasons may be difficult. The Nursing Home has a responsibility to the other residents and staff to keep them safe.
The first priority would be to get his medications correct so that he is no longer a danger to himself or others.
Second would be to locate a facility that will accept him with the history he has.
It is not "Passing the buck" it is looking out for the welfare of all involved.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Angie, if they haven't been able to get his behaviors under control in the hospital, then it doesnt seem likely that they can make a safe discharge to a regular nursing home.

If I recall, he was hitting you at home and has continued this physically abusive behavior to staff in the hospital. It sounds as though he needs specialized psychiatric care.

Ask what is different about the level of diagnostics and care that he can get at the specialty hospital. Ask what will happen if you don't sign commital papers. I suspect the hospital would seek emergency guardianship and then they would have him commited.
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Don't do it. Let it be their problem to fix.
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haileybug Sep 1, 2020
I read your post from August 9 where you say they claimed they were going to send him far away. He is still there, Isn't he?

I been down a long road with this. The hospital will try to buff at you but you stand your ground.

The doctors at the hospital should be able to get his behaviors under control. If not, he needs to be at a better hospital.

My husband and I went through battles where his brother was having some behaviors in Memory Care Units. We tried to get him moved closer to home but no one would accept him.

We knew if we could get him where some good doctors were and closer to home, things would be better. By the grace of God, we were finally able to get a facility to accept him in the area of our choice. He got kicked out, to the hospital, after 30 days. That turned out to be his blessing.

The doctors were Amazing. They made a huge difference with him. He is not the same person. BIL mind is so good it is unbelievable, no behaviors and no falls.

Another Memory Care Facility in the area accepted him and he is doing very well.
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Angie--we need more information.

Who is 'they'? Where do YOU feel he needs to be.

And passing the buck would mean someone is trying to get someone not involved in your DH's life to make this decision. 'They' are passing the buck to the person who has to make the decision for him.

And, no, they don't like to keep anybody in a hospital setting for 2+ months....what's the backstory on this?

Not trying to be obtuse, just wanting the facts.
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