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My fiance is in a short term rehabilitation nursing home. The other sitters know their boundaries and never touch him intimately like she has. She has even pulled his pants open in front once to see if he is red. Any rash would be in back, not in front. He has expressed how he does not like that she does that and I have told her to give him personal space, as he has said she is too close. She told me I insulted her. She has then told me I can leave, when I sit there quietly and never interfere. She has said I agitate him, so he cannot sleep. Yet, the nursing home calls me to come because I calm him. I am his fiance and guardian, why am I wrong when no one elses touches him like that at night. She spazzed out screaming at me and the nurse came in, and I left upset. How do I handle this? Why is she making me out to be bad, when I was simply stating how my fiance felt. He has even expressed that and she ignores him.

You have he is 57, is this wrong. If you are there why the sitter?

If she is private pay find someone else. Your his guardian as such he must not be able to make informed decisions. As his guardian you have the right to ask that she stop this. If she doesn't you have the right to fire her. If she is a sitter hired by the rehab, tell them your fiance does not care for her and you want someone different.

If the facility does have the guardian papers get them a copy for their files. Even if he said nothing you have a right to question. Use your authority.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Is this sitter also a nurse’s aide? When my mother had a sitter, she did nothing but supervise my mom. I paid $15 an hour to have her watch television all day. “Checking for redness” is the job of the nurse’s aide and not the sitter.

This sitter is an employee. Are you paying her out-of-pocket? If so, she works for your fiancé and he is her boss. If she is being paid by the facility, she is still a representative of the company. She should not be mouthing off to you or to your fiancé. If I did that, I’d be out of a job in a hot minute.

You do not say why your fiancé needs a sitter. I know having one for my mother was unnecessary and a waste of her money. If your fiancé is uncomfortable for ANY reason, he needs to speak up. NOW. Leave your feelings and opinions out of it. He is the patient and it’s the facility’s job to assure his physical and mental well-being.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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I want to add - don't go to the boss with the complaint that is written here, lest it get written off as jealousy, I would suggest you say that this care giver is needlessly fussing and touching and not allowing him to rest, and that he really doesn't like her personality and she makes him feel uncomfortable. If you can meet the Admin in his room and he can say this himself so much the better.
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Reply to cwillie
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If you are in the room why does he need a sitter? Sounds like she is out of line, she has no need to touch him unless she is changing him or repositioning him, which they should be doing on a schedule.
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Reply to cwillie
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You need to talk to her boss.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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