The bowel trials have continued, and for the past couple of days, Dad has continued to go from one extreme to the next. The entire ordeal has brought on urinary incontinence, and the ALF has been little help if any

Two weeks ago when I had to introduce incontinence products, I sent the ALF director an email alerting them of the care change and asking what services were currently included in Dad's "service rate" and if there would be any additional charge. I got no response and no action. I haven't had time to fight this new battle, so I altered my work schedule to make sure that he was freshened up at least 3 times a day.

About a week ago, I noticed when I would visit dad, there would be soiled undergarments in the shower or out on the floor in the bathroom. I would ask about it and of course none of the staff knew anything, but I figured out Dad was attempting to freshen himself up if he felt wetness... including attempting to change his own clothing and would leave the underpants wherever he would remove them. I would arrive and several items of clothing would be out of the drawers or closet and on the floor or in the trash (he thinks the trash is the dirty clothes hamper) and he would either have on regular boxers or incontinence briefs that were placed incorrectly. The bathroom would also be very dirty (urine and excrement on the floor, walls, toilet... all over his hands and arms, etc.)

Yesterday the SH** hit the fan, the wall, the carpet... EVERYWHERE. Dad struggled all morning in the bathroom, so I gave him a suppository (med tech said she didn't have time to give him one until several hours later - ????) At first, it appeared to do nothing, so I decided to go home for a few hours. When I returned to check on Dad about 4 hours later, the room was a MESS!!! There was poop on the walls, all over the bathroom floor, several spots on the carpet and furniture. There were clothes all over the room and poor Dad was standing in the middle of the floor with his pants on backwards, no undergarments and covered in excrement.

I asked a staff member if she could send someone to help out (she actually saw it) and I jumped into action trying to start cleaning up. I then decided that it was best to just take Dad to the VA hospital an hour and half away - at least treatment would be free. The same staff member I asked to help me clean up SAW the mess because she brought me a copy of Dad's paperwork and had to step through the SH** to leave the folder on Dad's table.

I even APOLOGIZED for leaving so abruptly and not helping clean more, but I was worried about Dad (he was SO confused) and I just wanted to get him some help. After a few hours in the hospital, they decided to release Dad. He went through several briefs while there, but they said there was nothing they could do despite acknowledging that they SAW stool in his bowels on the left side. They said to just let this new bout of diarrhea run it's course.

Imagine my surprise and disgust when I walked through Dad's room door to find it in the same state in which I left it. It had been SEVEN HOURS!!!! NOTHING HAD BEEN DONE!!!!! The room smelled awful. This was NOT what I wanted to see at 1 in the morning. I marched down to the med tech's office and demanded that Dad be placed in another room for the night. Of course, there wasn't one available, so I told her to get his room clean NOW!!!!! I was LIVID!!!!!!

Up until last night, I never raised my voice at the staff, but I was completely boiling. This poor child didn't seem to know what to do. In the meantime, one of the third shift staff members overheard me shouting and asked what's going in. She IMMEDIATELY went to Dad's room with cleaning supplies and got down on her hands and knees and started scrubbing the carpet. I had to keep Dad calm and still until they could get the bathroom to a place where I could actually CLEAN HIM. It was DISGUSTING!!!

Two hours later, I was finally able to get a very soiled and confused father changed and into bed, but this is RIDICULOUS!!! Of course, I took pictures and live video (I have a collection of them) of the entire ordeal. The third shift staff member that cleaned up also took pictures and expressed her shock.

So... Dad is supposed to stay until the end of the month (the house is FINALLY ready), but I don't want him there. Can I place him temporarily somewhere else -- not that I have the time to move him TWICE in three weeks.

Is there recourse for this? This CAN'T be how a facility operates. Are there rules for cleaning biohazardous materials like feces in a timely manner?

Counting the days until move out... 18 more to go....

She did update on another thread the beginning of the week.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to JoAnn29

Yes, Tinyblu -- please give us an update. You're very close to 'moving' date for Dad, right?
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to talkey

Tiny, we r all worried about you. You haven't posted since the 13th when Dad was having all the problems.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to JoAnn29

Yes, once we move, I will have a combination of two care aides that I can PERSONALLY vouch for, and Dad will go to Adult Day care a couple days a week (as long as he can).

My issue wasn't with the pooping incident. In fact, I think that if he has a little more one-on-one monitoring, things like this can be kept to a minimum.

I know that ALF isn't designed for these type of needs (now). but the mess should have been cleaned up much sooner. He's done much better when I've been able to keep an eye on him/

... and I am agitated that my $5K a month doesn't seem to cover much more than medication administration. Ironically, the day center and two caregivers comes out cheaper than the ALF.

I'm afraid to leave Dad there for another 18 days, but have no choice. I can't afford to have supplemental eyes on him, and I still have to work the two jobs so I can't keep an eye on things... this is such a test of patience for me.

...but I will be talking to management tomorrow (more time off work).
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to anonymous262233

She is going to have caretakers, I think. It will be more one on one in their own place.

I hope the night shift reports this. No shift likes to do the other shifts cleanup. One of Moms aides left a small clean up. Was uncalled for but I cleaned it up. Next time I called in the aide from the next shift. Showed her what the previous aide left and she cleaned it up. But I know, the other shift heard about it. Mom paid 5k a month to live there. If I wanted to clean up, I would have kept her with me.

Tiny, you can remove him but you will still have to pay for the month.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to JoAnn29

tiny -my concern is the same as the others. How are you going to handle this in your home? I hope you get some answers from staff soon.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to golden23

Tiny, this could be what your dad's care needs will be, and worse, for the rest of his life. Are you prepared for that?

This incident is inexcusable and I would try to find another place for him. Since you think this will be very short term maybe consider finding a sitter to spend time with dad and keep closer track of him.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to gladimhere

Who is going to handle all the bowel issues and cleanup when you move him to the house?
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to CTTN55

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