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This will be the first holiday season since my father entered assisted living. He has some form of mild to moderate fluctuating dementia, is blind and has limited mobility. My mother lives locally n her own home and the whole family, young and old, will be here for Christmas week. He does not tolerate any music, conversation or commotion which are just part of the season. Any suggestions about how we can include him or at least acknowledge the holidays?

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SunnyGirl1!
Like your idea. That fits with my inclinations, totally. Basically, we know my dad way better than the staff, at this point (tho, they are wonderful!) I think we’d also bring him some turkey at some point. Holidays used to be very precious to him.
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I know quite a few families who have to extend the holiday celebrations due to the number of places they have to go. Some celebrate with one family the week before, some the week after. You can pick any day to make your traditions meaningful.
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Maybe your dad does not care for the Holidays, and considers it just another day on the calendar. Many people feel the same way.
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I'd discuss it with the facility and plan on something that would bring him comfort. If he doesn't like music and lots of commotion, maybe, the family could go in small groups over the course of the week to take him him his favorite gifts and something comforting that he might use, like a throw or pj's. Provide plenty of hugs and warm wishes and not stay too long. The staff may be able to tell you how much he might be able to handle.
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Super advice from Igloo. On the how to manage bathroom trips out and about point: many disabled washrooms are unisex, so it's then "just" a matter of honing your assistance skills! - again, trial runs will help.
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I’d suggest you speak with activities director and social worker at the AL as to what is planned for the holidays at the AL. There should be a calendar of events already done. Then see what meshes with family to attended & participant with dad. I found these to be priceless as you get a feel for what the interpersonal relationships are at the NH and how folks (residents and staff) relate to your parent.

I’d also ask staff if having dad do a day trip out for family luncheon could work for his level of care and ability to transition both physically & mentally. You might want to do a trial run before holidays to see how stressfully successful it is. Or isn’t. LOL. When my late mom was in a NH, I took her about every couple of months (I live in another state) out for early lunch and then to her old hairdressers to get work done & pass the afternoon or do a tour at Target / Steinmart. It was manageable as everybody had handicapped parking & folks held doors, etc; & she knew the places already; timed day so was back at NH in plenty of time to decompress ahead of dinner at NH. She was fine & enjoyed it. It was stressful & exhausting for me as your just on high alert the entire time & took me a day to get over it. If he needs bathroom assistance, & your female, think ahead about how to deal with this. Also if he has specific time RXs, you need to arrange to get them ahead of time from the AL.

There are noise reduction/ canceling headsets that you might want to gift to dad. Inexpensive ones at the TJMaxx’s. Or get him holiday themed earmuffs. & this would get a great photo opportunity as well!!!
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