I travel across country 4 times a year to stay for a month and visit with my siblings and my 91 year old mother who has vascular dementia. She has 2 caregivers and before 3:00 pm she’s pretty alert and acts almost normal but she has a hard time finding words and completing sentences. She constantly has issues, I deal with one and 10 minutes later she needs something else done for her. She begs me many times on each trip to take her back home with me. I have two siblings who live 15 minutes from her but they don’t do what I do for her. I was groomed to be a caretaker at a very young age and I’ve been doing it since I was 12.
I’m burnt out and exhausted. I had cancer 14 years ago and going through chemo was easier than the guilt she makes me feel when she clings onto me and calls me mom by mistake.
I'm returning home in two days and the severe guilt is setting in. I can’t take her with me as I could never put my husband through the torture of being with her. She been mean and miserable towards him for the last 25 years.
Must she die in order for me to be free?
I know the next time I come back she’ll be much worse so I feel guilty for being so angry and impatient towards her.
Help me please