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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Lots of videos on youtube. I would suggest starting there. As to calming him down, if there are serious problems with this overall it's a question for doctor. You may be looking at a time for a need for placement where your father will have the care of several people on several different shifts to provide safe and certain care. If Burnt's excellent advice doesn't do it I would seriously consider where this is all going overall.
The best way I find after having been a homecare worker for 25 years is to tell the person as plainly as possible that they're getting changed and there's not going to be any fighting about it. Never be angry about it. Don't treat the person like a child and try to coax them with treats and rewards if they allow their diaper to be changed. Don't speak sweetly to the person like they're a little kid either. They're not even if they have dementia.
I find in my years of dealing with client incontinence is to be as indifferent about it as you can. Yes, it's gross and disgusting. A few times I've had to step out and vomit but never let the client know. The person getting their diaper changed will usually take their cue by your reaction to it. It you have a 'no big deal, whatever' attitude about it, they usually will too.
If your father is both ways incontinent, pull-ups aren't right for him anymore. He needs tabbed diapers. You change an adult's diaper the same way you change baby's. Have them lay down on the bed and that's the easiest way. It can also be done with the person sitting on the toilet but this way is a lot harder for the person changing them. If you're still using pull-ups, buy a pair of rounded-tip bandage scissors because those can be cut on the sides and taken off easily. Some brands are perforated and you don't even need scissors.
Not making a big deal about it works pretty good to get it done. If your father is working himself up every time he needs a diaper change, it may be time for you to consider placement in a care facility. Don't rule that option out.
Are you using Tab type briefs or Pull up briefs (personally I don't like the term "diaper" for an adult brief)
If using a Tab type and the person is mobile I found having my Husband stand with his feet apart (I put large X's on the floor in the bathroom) I would place the brief on him BACKWARDS and as I brought the front with the tab on it to the back it I could get it to pull tighter. (There was no extra absorbent area in the briefs I used so there did not seem to be a "front or back") Once he was bed bound the tab went in the back because it was easier. I would change him differently if I was using the Hoyer Lift I would lower him to the mattress where the brief was laid out. If I was just changing him in bed I would roll him from one side to the other. It takes practice and some of the changes were not pretty to look at but they did the job! The Pull up type is just like changing any underwear. And you do not have to remove the pants in order to change the pull up. The old one can be torn at the side. The new one can be slipped up under the pant leg. (try it on yourself, sit on the toilet and try taking off your underwear)
Now to calm him. You need to be calm. Talk to him in a quiet voice. Talk slowly and distinctly.
If he takes a medication for anxiety medicate him about 15 to 20 minutes before he needs to be changed. Time the change with something he likes. A snack, a walk, a meal, another activity. Change his position about 10 minutes before you change him. This can help him more fully empty his bladder before you change him. (fewer changes, or avoiding a wet brief shortly after a change)
And if your dad is not one to "fiddle" you might want to consider if a Condom Catheter would be an option. (would not be good for many with dementia as they are prone to pulling at tubes and men like to "reposition themselves" as I liked to call it)
Does he still use the bathroom? If so, Depends rips down the sides, easy off. No need to take his pants off. You pull his pants to his ankles. Hook one depends leg hole over the foot and bring the other side up thru the pant leg, over the crotch, down thru the other pant leg and then hook it over the foot and pull them up. Then his pants.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
As to calming him down, if there are serious problems with this overall it's a question for doctor. You may be looking at a time for a need for placement where your father will have the care of several people on several different shifts to provide safe and certain care. If Burnt's excellent advice doesn't do it I would seriously consider where this is all going overall.
I find in my years of dealing with client incontinence is to be as indifferent about it as you can. Yes, it's gross and disgusting. A few times I've had to step out and vomit but never let the client know. The person getting their diaper changed will usually take their cue by your reaction to it. It you have a 'no big deal, whatever' attitude about it, they usually will too.
If your father is both ways incontinent, pull-ups aren't right for him anymore. He needs tabbed diapers. You change an adult's diaper the same way you change baby's. Have them lay down on the bed and that's the easiest way. It can also be done with the person sitting on the toilet but this way is a lot harder for the person changing them. If you're still using pull-ups, buy a pair of rounded-tip bandage scissors because those can be cut on the sides and taken off easily. Some brands are perforated and you don't even need scissors.
Not making a big deal about it works pretty good to get it done. If your father is working himself up every time he needs a diaper change, it may be time for you to consider placement in a care facility. Don't rule that option out.
If using a Tab type and the person is mobile I found having my Husband stand with his feet apart (I put large X's on the floor in the bathroom) I would place the brief on him BACKWARDS and as I brought the front with the tab on it to the back it I could get it to pull tighter. (There was no extra absorbent area in the briefs I used so there did not seem to be a "front or back")
Once he was bed bound the tab went in the back because it was easier.
I would change him differently if I was using the Hoyer Lift I would lower him to the mattress where the brief was laid out.
If I was just changing him in bed I would roll him from one side to the other.
It takes practice and some of the changes were not pretty to look at but they did the job!
The Pull up type is just like changing any underwear.
And you do not have to remove the pants in order to change the pull up.
The old one can be torn at the side.
The new one can be slipped up under the pant leg. (try it on yourself, sit on the toilet and try taking off your underwear)
Now to calm him.
You need to be calm.
Talk to him in a quiet voice.
Talk slowly and distinctly.
If he takes a medication for anxiety medicate him about 15 to 20 minutes before he needs to be changed.
Time the change with something he likes. A snack, a walk, a meal, another activity.
Change his position about 10 minutes before you change him. This can help him more fully empty his bladder before you change him. (fewer changes, or avoiding a wet brief shortly after a change)
And if your dad is not one to "fiddle" you might want to consider if a Condom Catheter would be an option. (would not be good for many with dementia as they are prone to pulling at tubes and men like to "reposition themselves" as I liked to call it)
hole over the foot and bring the other side up thru the pant leg, over the crotch, down thru the other pant leg and then hook it over the foot and pull them up. Then his pants.
I have no idea how to do it if he is bedridden.