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THe beautician was here around 1, and later this evening she completely forgot the beautician was here and did her hair. What should I have said? I tried to remind her what happened this afternoon and even took her in the bathroom and showed her in the mirror her hair was washed and cut. I think it really frightened her realizing what she had forgotten. From now on what do I do in such cases? Please give me advise.

It sounds as though this is new, and that is why she was shocked. It was evening – had she been drinking? When I was drinking too much in the evening, I sometimes couldn’t remember what I had cooked for dinner the night before, and it wasn’t dementia. Or had she been thinking deeply about something else all afternoon? You can get immersed in other issues sometimes, and ordinary ageing includes occasional short term memory loss. If it was a one-off, a reasonable response could be ‘Whoops! Well we all forget things sometimes!”. If it is an early sign of dementia, there is no need to make her worried and miserable about what is to come. It will make things worse for both of you.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Has your mother been diagnosed with dementia? If so, I'd try to just give her comfort and reassurance when she can't recall things. I'd just let it go and not try to convince her of anything. I discovered with my LO that it was pretty much a waste of time to try to convince her that something already happened. It would just make her feel bad and embarrassed.

If she's looking at her hair and doesn't believe that it's already been cut and styled, I'd go along with it. You might say, it sure looks nice, but, if you want to schedule the hair stylist, we can do it tomorrow. And, then just don't. She won't likely recall the next day. I wouldn't go on and on trying to get her to remember, because she won't and she'll just feel bad.

My LO told me that she could tell things were happening in her mind, but she didn't know what it was. It scared her and she wanted me there to comfort her. Her doctor prescribed daily med for anxiety and depression and it helped her a great deal. She wasn't as afraid. After she progressed further, she was less afraid, because she was not able to know she had memory loss.
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Mom has dementia? If so, trying to convince her of anything is futile. When my mom was first diagnosed with dementia, I tried to explain things, convince her of things, etc. all I got was a blank look, and like you wrote, sometimes I wondered if she wasn’t scared by what was happening to her.

If this keeps happening ( and it probably will) suggest she goes and talks to her doctor. There are meds she can be on to help. Try to keep her brain active with card games,
puzzles, and online games. It’s not a cure but it will help.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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