Thank you? I’m having trouble understanding why my mother never expresses any gratitude.

Placement time

I'm of the ilk that people should be grateful for the blessings they're shown. And you're showing your mother a TON of blessings by caring for her daily. You don't deserve to be asked why you're 'mad', but told how lovely you look and thanked for all you do. She should tell you how delicious the food is that you serve her, and how grateful she is for all the hard work you put in on her behalf. But that's not going to happen, I guess, because she may not be grateful, or, she cannot properly express herself, who knows? I do know that my own mother has never been grateful for ONE thing in her entire life of 94.5 years. A couple of months ago my DH and I were trying to get her to acknowledge ONE blessing in her life and she would not do so; she could not think of ONE thing to be grateful for, which we found to be astonishing. Some people are glass half empty types, and my mother is one of them; perhaps yours is too.

My mother lives in Memory Care Assisted Living b/c I could never care for her in my home; I just couldn't and wouldn't. Maybe now is the time for you to either bring in hired help or look into placement for your mother. There comes a time when a person has to Cry Uncle, and this may be your time. Burn out is no joke; please don't become a statistic where your mother outlives YOU b/c of all the stress you're under! God forbid.

Wishing you the best of luck looking after YOURSELF now! You deserve to.

I think a nice talk with how you feel will help because it can lead to her feeling that vibe and react in ways you will not appreciate it. How does she treat you instead other than not thanking you. She might feel that you already know how grateful she is and doesn’t feel like she has to say it. Is there people that can help? Maybe she doesn’t know your feelings about being a caregiver. Talk to her. Also call the health and human services office and they can possibly help find you assistance if you qualify. My grandmother didn’t qualify for Medicaid but she qualified for that

Do not ever start caregiving for a parent, especially, and expect gratitude. It is more likely that you will become the reason for all their problems. Some people are just not emotionally prepared to be a caregiver. And that is ok.

I would be honest. First, you also are a Senior. Tell her "I really don't like being a Caregiver especially when I get no thank you for what I do for you." I believe in being direct.

Get some help for yourself. Maybe you should change the dynamics here. Have someone else provide care. Just do it. If Mom is 96 that means you are no Spring chicken yourself. Find some help in the community so you aren't resentful of what you are doing. And stop expecting her to do something she doesn't do. It will be easier if you can lower your expectations of what you think she should do.