My friend is her daughter. There are two daughters the house is for. The home is used by all sides of the family when they are in town. I was there with my friend 24 hours a day for 5 months after the stroke assisting with home repairs and caregiving on both his and her home. No one is trying to move into anyone's house, it is clearly cheaper for everyone if one or two family members can commit to caregiving. The other sister is no help and lives 5 hours away. We live 22 hours away in our own home, thank you. Some of you guys? Are a bit nippy. I have been saying for months to seek legal counsel. I love my friend and will support her until death unlike the married "Christian" I’m dealing with now. He's not very Christ like. I said maybe take it to the elders. It’s very hard to watch all of this continue caring when even the own daughter is not pitching in. The mother sacrificed a lot for both daughters and lost three husbands along the way (two she cared for in home until death). Tying to give her the same respect.
I am assuming here when u talk about "her house" she owned it before the marriage. That she hasca Will leaving it to her children. Do you plan on moving to care for this woman? I think any plans you make need to be made taking into consideration all 3 of your incomes. Mom gets SS so how much is that? Does she get any pension from former husbands? Her house is an asset does she have other assets?
A lawyer should be paid by Mom. I don't think dealing with her husband is going to happen overnight. There are no filial laws in Texas and notvsure if they covered spouses. I know Medicaid wise, her husband can sign a form saying he is not responsible for her care. Your friend at least should consult with a lawyer. Sometimes they don't charge for a consult. There maybe nothing your friend can do. If there is a prenup, even a divorce may not work to get him to pay for her care.
Sadly, this isn't your family or your business.
Giving support to a friend is listening to them. Not advising them, which can come back to bite you in the backside.
Simply listen.
If I had one piece of advice for your friend (and I wouldn't beyond listening and sympathizing) it would be that you cannot EVER make ANYONE do much of ANYTHING. Ever.
There are legalities as to what support is owed between husband and wife, whether their assets are co-mingled or not. And this is the work of EXPERTS, that is to say ATTORNEYS, not well-meaning friends.
If your friend is her Mom's DPoA then maybe she can be of influence, even if the powers are not yet active. If your friend suspects the husband is abusive, she can call 911 to report the abuse (threatening language, behavior, actual physical abuse) BUT if her Mom (the wife) covers for him... there's nothing that can be done except sit back and watch the sausage being made.
If your friend suspects her Mom may have the beginnings of cognitive/memory impairment, then "someone" of her adult children can choose to become her legal guardian and then act on her behalf.
I had an Aunt in an abusive relationship with her husband. Eventually her sons did decide to swoop in and remove her from the home but at that point she had some dementia.
If your friend's Mom is legally married, she has a legal claim to shared assets (based upon specific state rules and laws).