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I am very close to doing that, and it is a horrid picture in my mind

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Thanks for taking the time to respond. Been doing some searching, I guess I should include her at this point.... Thanks gain!
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It is hard, but facilities are not all uniformly awful, and you can pick a nice one and visit a lot and stay as involved as you can be, jut not trying to shoulder a burden of care solo that you can't handle any more. You can suggest that the facility will have therapy that will help her get stronger. Start looking at places - online, and in person, and show her pictures or even bring her to look with you. There used to be someone even on here who thought that facilities were for people whose family did not love them enough - all I can say is we may feel bad inside that all of our love is not always enough to manage care at home, and it is just NOT NOT NOT not true that using a care facility is not loving or the right thing to do at some point in many of our situations.
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Thanks very much for the excellent suggestion. I never gave that a thought!!!!
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Jerryew - I feel so much for you and for your spouse!! Can you have the doctor let her know that it is time for a home - that the home can provide the care she needs - that you no longer can. You can remain her loving spouse and of course visit her and advocate for her. Good luck and please come back to tell us how you are doing
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