I will be selling my home soon. I live with my soulmate and my mother. I have been her sole caretaker and provider for the last 25 years. We feel that now is a good time to make that break away from her. One of us is 55 and the other is 61. We want to have our own life now. Life is passing us by. Is this so wrong of us ? How do I come to terms with sitting down and telling her how I really feel? I know what she'll come back at me with. I have been seeing a clinical psyhc. to try to help me deal with all this. The guilt is over whelming. She's already said that she doesn't want to live alone. I honestly think it would be better for her to get to know others her own age. I know she won't see it that way. I just don't know what to do. I am simply beside myself.

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Is she healthy enough to live in her own place...with some help from you or caregivers? My Mom is in her 80s and has her own place near us. We have caregivers come in twice a week. It is good for her to interact with others.
Also, there are senior apartment complexes...some are gov. subsidized. She would be around others her own age.
I find Asst. Living centers too expensive for what you get. But if your Mom is social, she may really enjoy this environment.
I think it is best to introduce the idea, let your Mom think about it, then follow up with specfics. Take her to see one or two ALs that you find nice. They can even arrange for her to have lunch their.
Change is a big deal for all of us. If she has been with you for 25 years, it is not going to be easy. However, you do deserve your own life and time to yourself, so, don't feel guilty about your choice.
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