We had a really ROUGH week last week and basically it was the "straw that broke this camel's back." I had to threaten to leave before my hubby would call his brother about the situation and get some financial help so as to place his mom in assisted living. We found a nice, small, well run place just 5 miles from us. Her room will be fairly large and the residents there seem content. No odd smells, etc. Friendly staff. How do we break the news to mom? Should we wait a while? She is a bit forgetful but does not have full blown dementia. We have set a Nov. 1 move in date. I know she will blame me. I get blamed for everything. Of course this move is my fault and NOT the fact that she is 91 and needs more care than I can or want to give. I just feel that nearly 13 years is enough. Can I disappear and let her son and my sons help her move? Would that be wrong?