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Several years ago my mother was poisoned by her now ex-husband. The damage it caused over time began xhutting down her body one organ at a time. Months of hospital stays cost her every dime she had, her job, her house, and her ability to care for herself. I did what any son would do and moved her into my house so I could take care of her. Now (6 years later), I've weaned her off most of her meds and shes doing surprisingly well with occasional week long bouts of illness. She has a good steady job which she has had for a while and seems to be fairly healthy most of the time. I am the only family or friends she has at age 59. I'm a 32 year old man and living with my mother hss cost me untold amounts of stress and 2 relationships. I've mentioned a couple of times to her that she needs to start thinking of getting her own place, but of course she guilt trips me aaaaand it works. She tries to make herself as valuable to have around as she can, doing housework, watching my dog while I'm away (I travel for work), takes care of things that come up while I'm on the road, and even pays the cable bill.
I feel horrible every time I think about telling her it's time to go. She has no credit to get a house or apartment and I can't help because mines not great either. She has nobody to go to or ask for help besides me. Besides that, she's my mother.. she gave me everything when I was a kid and worked 3 jobs to do so. I feel like an ass asking her to leave, but I feel like I'm 15 living at home again and it's destroying any dignity and manhood I have left! Not only that but I can't even have a normal relationship with my mother at my house treating me like I'm 15.
I'm going crazy and need some helpful advice from impartial parties who might be understanding of the situation. Anyone have any helpful or inspirational advice???

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P.S. Also check for Section 8 rental housing in Independence, MO. I did a Google search and a bunch came up. Section 8 is where your mom would get some financial assistance to help her pay for the rent.
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You've had good advice above. I'm 62 and can't imagine living with a child at this age. Your mom needs to be on her own for her own sake, as well as yours. Give her a deadline and get on Craigslist to find her a place to stay. Check with local social service groups to see if they have any advice on places she could start. I'd even check with United Way or YWCA, if they have those in the town where you live. I also agree with checking about Social Security for disabled folks. You've been a wonderful son and shouldn't beat yourself up. Your mom is taking the easy, safe way out wanting to stay with you, but it's not fair to either of you.
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Macada is right - give her a deadline. Two months is plenty. Send her to Social Security, or take her. They have tons of resources and will hook her up with other agencies. If she has a tiny income and has disabilities, etc. she should probably be receiving some type of assistance anyway. This is where I would start - immediately. Then she needs to check into public housing based on income. Get online tonight and get your ducks in a row. get all the info, take her to Soc Sec. and get going. You are NOT going to ever have a life if you don't. Good luck. just DO IT!
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If she is healthy, and has a good steady job, it would be interesting to know why she doesn't want to move on. I think the best thing you could do for yourself (and her) is to give her a deadline that she has to be out by (a couple of months?), maybe she needs to join some social groups and meet people her own age so she doesn't rely on you for companionship. Perhaps some group therapy for her would be helpful . .does she go to church?
You have no reason to feel guilty for asking your mum to leave, you have been a wonderful son and with all due respect she is being selfish expecting you to put your life on hold any longer. Tell her you love her but she has to go! Good Luck!!
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I'm her only viable realative. She has a brother but he's a junkie drug dealer so thats not really an option. I'd put a down payment on an apartment if I could, but Ibarely make ends meet as Iit is. Maybe I should start a savings account for exactly that...
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How about a cheap little studio apartment for her? You need your life back and your future depends on it. And if she wants grandchildren. You have to find that someone special without her around. I hope her husband went to jail for what he did to her. Your a good son. Hugs to both of you.
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What a horrible experience for your Mom to endure.... Thank God for her healing and that you were able to help her. You've been a good son to your Mom. She is able to care for herself now and it does sound like it is beyond time for both of you to live independently. But, given her credit, the only options I see is placing a big deposit down onto an apartment - or at least 6 months of rent up front, unless a future landlord has compassion upon your Mom.

Are there any relatives she could live with?
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