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She has vascular dementia ,plus her colostomy bag, stage 4 renal failure. Feel so guilty about it. She has no memory of having the colon surgery, does not know why she is in the SNF...but she remembers the Doc's have to release her...my Sis & I can't take care of her, no money for at home care either. She still has a few good hours every day

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"Oh, Yes, we are waiting for the doctor to release you once you are well enough to live on your own again. Until then, you get to stay here where he can have his nurses check up on you. Isn't it good to have a doctor who cares so much about you? I am so glad we found him, he really saved your life." I have said this a bjillion times to mthr in the last 2.5 years. She still thinks she just got there, and she is eager to get home. I'm not sure what home that is!
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On the most recent hospital visit. My mom would tell my dad and I, she is ready to go home. We would tell her she is not well enough to come home and that the doctors are trying to get her better to be able to come home. It seemed to work. She was never well enough to come home unfortanely, she recently passed away. She had been ill for many many years and the last year she she was on a decline in health. The last two months was the worse. She was also was diagnosed within the last two months with Dementia with Behavioral Distrubances.
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This Is the part I dread!!!
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After my mom's heart attack in the ER (with dementia), and rehab I took to her an AL facility. She begged to go home. I just fibbed and said she needed to be stronger to take care of herself and the house. Then I fibbed and said the house was being fixed up for her. More fibs, a school teacher of mine was renting the house, watching it and paying the bills. I was a teacher so she thought this would be ok until 'they' said she could go home. eventually she stopped asking or I just made up another delay. She stayed in AL then to memory care for 8 years and died a week short of 100! She still wanted to go home until the end, but it would be followed by what time is it, when do I eat?
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'Going home" means different things at different times. Ask her to tell you about her home.
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Yes,someone has told her she has "mind" problems And she doesn't remember her surgery, so I guess she won't remember being told she isn't going home either....she remembers me telling her we are waiting on the Dr.'s release though. Oh, but what they do remember though!
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Oh my I'm with you on this I'm placing my dad with alzheimer's this Sunday I'm taking him to visit with someone while we move his furniture and things,going to try set up his room as much as possible as it is in our home. Then taking him. Going to tell him I have to have surgery which I do. He is going to be hurt and mad and I will feel guilty but he will have good care and people to socialize with
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I think I would come up with a little white lie. "Soon, mom."
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I assume that the doctor has told her she's not going home? Problem is that with her dementia, she probably will not remember anything the doctor or you tell her. My mother never remembered and I had to tell her the same thing over and over again.
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