Will she forget & have to be told again? Her doctor just told me 6 days ago about her limited life. Hospice will begin in a couple of weeks, and I know I could ask them for advice, but I didn't want to wait.
She is in assisted living, and has been for almost 5 years, but learning her lungs are compromised probably explains her early morning confusion and disorientation. I often get phone calls from her around 8 or 9 a.m. asking me, "Where am I? Why am I here? Who put me here? I patiently answer all her questions and tell her I'll come see her that afternoon. By the time I get there, she's just fine and doesn't remember that she was upset. So I say all this to explain that she is pretty aware (if she gets enough oxygen). For Thanksgiving all my children and grandchildren are coming. My 2 brothers and their families are coming. There will be 35 people including babies. We've rented cottages at a 'primitive resort', so there will be a way for Mom to get some peace and quiet if she needs. As I write this, I've convinced myself I should tell her before, because this will be the last Thanksgiving we spend with her, but it may also be the last time she gets to be with some of the family, who may not be able to make it back when 'the time comes'. I think she needs the chance to process this, but she'll probably forget and I'll have to tell her again. Or do you think it will be one of those shocking announcements that will stick in her mind and she will obsess about it? As her daughter, I have MPOA and am the only relative in town, 1 brother is 2 hours away, other brother is a 2 days drive. Thankfully, as her children, early on, we made a pact that we wouldn't make any decisions concerning Mom about which we were not unanimous. That decision alone has saved us so much grief. So despite the fact that most of her care and contact has been in my court, I appreciate my brothers very much. I'm sorry to be rambling, but I thank you now for responding to my questions.
1. Do you think I will have to tell her again about her short time? How often? Or do you think she will obsess about it and maybe become depressed?
2. Do you have any suggestions on how I should tell her?
3. Is there a time of day that would be better than another time of day to tell her?