My Uncle has lived with us for 5 years, he has no children. He has been accepted into a local nursing home. IS it best to be completely honest with him or should we tell him it is temporary?

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If you feel that saying it's temporary will help him feel better, there's nothing wrong with that. You want to help him, so don't quibble about therapeutic fibbing.

My feeling is to go for compassion. You'll likely have to say that you're moving him to a new room because it's safer and he'll have more help. Be very reassuring about the fact that you'll visit often. Make sure his room has some personal items including photos - maybe even his bedspread if it fits the bed - so that there are familiar items around him.

Be aware that he will want to "go home" no matter how well things go, but what he's after is the feeling of safety, not necessarily the home he just left. There will be a period of adjustment. Before you leave, make sure he's got a staff member with him.

He may adjust quickly or may never quit complaining, but you have to do what's best for him. You're his advocate, so work with the staff to help him adjust. If it's a good, well run, home with a forward take on what nursing homes should be, he should be just fine.

I know this is hard on you, too. Take care of yourself,
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Be honest. Whereas he has dementia, he'll need to be constantly reminded that the NH is home now. If I may, when you move him in, make sure he has familiar items visible. For example, bedding, furniture, TV, pictures, knick knacks... you get it.

Bless you for caring for your uncle....
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