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My husband has dementia, mid-stage. He still does some tasks for himself, which I encourage. However, often he leaves burners on and faucets running. Last night he cooked up two pounds of fish for himself (why that much I don't know, as his appetite is very small) and then put it in the microwave, rather than the refrigerator. I discovered the plate there this morning. Is there any point to my mentioning these forgetful or confused moments to him or should I just let it go? With his doctor he denies having any problems.

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So much depends on the individual. If you can nicely let him know that this is part of his disease and he probably should leave the stove to you, you can try reminding him. However, he's likely to forget and do it anyway.

I don't think I'd mention the fish in the microwave. That's not dangerous, just wasteful, and is one more thing to embarrass him. The stove is a bit different.
I like the idea of making the appliances too complicated to use such as taking the knobs off the stove if possible. Let him help in the kitchen but with safe tasks.

None of this is easy. You'll have to be vigilant so he doesn't burn the house down.
Good luck! Please keep coming back to let us know how it's going.
Carol
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I always tell my Mom when she forgets the same things. She thinks I'm being bossy BUT better to be safe.. She is now hesitant to do these things. I'd rather she let's me do it but as you said it's important she does things for herself.. If you are nervous you can take the knobs off the stove and say it's broke..
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I tell my mom. Sometimes, she believes me that she forget. Other times, she doesn't believe she did it. Sometimes it does help her remember for the next time. Other times, it doesn't.

For major things, like the day she forget she lived with us, put on her coat and left to walk home in the middle of the night, I'm not going to count on her not forgetting, again, and installed a door alarm.

My attitude is that I gently remind her, but I don't count on her remembering. If it's important, I don't count on her memory.
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It all depends on how YOU, the caregiver are feeling: if you feel calm then address it. If you are tired, angry, frustrated or experiencing any of the million of valid feelings that run through your emotions in any given day/hour as a caregiver, try to let it go. I take some deep breaths, turn off the running faucet or burner and try to put it past me. Easier said than done, of course!
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So much depends on the stage he is at. My husband also has Solvent Dementia, a form of Dementia. When I am not "the enemy", I tell him & remind him of many things-one at a time & keep focused on the one thing till he can paraphrase it back. I know he is my stairway to heaven. Don't always like it all but he teaches me much.
Yesterday I had to go do a neurological , mental & physical assessment on a 63 yr. old woman (I am an R.N.). I found a 3 to 4 yr. old in a woman's body
with the main care giver being her 93 yr. old mother, who was very intact.

The entire drive home I thanked the Powers That Are for what I was coming home to. So much depends on the place where your husband is-I would need more information.
Please know, you do not walk alone. I am beside you as are many others.
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You must keep you & him safe. This is the most important thing here.
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my husband just says, I didn't do it, someone else must have, only two if us here & two doggies. He doesn't do anything dangerous but leaves lights on in our three story townhouse daily, he definitely would not remember if I asked him or reminded him, he just does not understand. the other night he opened a new Ben & Jerry's pint of ice cream, ate about 1/3 and set it in the refrigerator. I just shake my head, smile & keep motivating.
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We just had a house near us totally destroyed by fire. The elderly couple was pulled out by their daughter who lived near by. Stove top issues are critical safety issues. Reminding him does not sink in, he won't remember. Move to a safe place where someone else does the cooking.
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You can tell him but if he's like my 92 yo mother, he will deny it or say you did it. I lost a sitter for her because she told the woman it was her that left the gas jets on..the sitter couldn't believe my mother turned the situation onto her..but she had no demetia experience either
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This is a good question. My mother sometimes leaves faucets running. I don't say anything. I do say something if things are potentially hazardous. It helps some. Fortunately, she doesn't use the stove very often, so that is one big worry that I don't have to deal with. I would disable the stove when I wasn't home if she did. Turning off the gas, unplugging, or throwing a breaker should work nicely if they wouldn't be able to figure it out.
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