My mother has dementia. She lives with her husband in an assisted-living facility. She is safe, well-fed, provided with transportation to medical appointments and shopping, and has everything she needs. However, she is constantly on my sister and my adult daughter to do things for her that are just plain nonsense. They, however, come running, at her beck and call, then complain how much of their time she uses up and how frustrated they are with her. It doesn't need to be this way and I'm getting sick of hearing the complaining. My sister and my daughter need to realize they can say "No" once in a while, especially when our mother is only making up excuses to get one of the girls to come and pick her up and take her out. As with many dementia patients, my mother is not pleasant to be around, so wouldn't these two girls try to find ways to keep their contact with her to a minimum? Like make sure her fridge and cupboards are always stocked with the foods she and her husband want to have in the house. That's the number one thing our mother calls the girls for. To go to the store and get her milk, or bread, or ice cream, or smokes. And these girls go running, almost every day! Why on earth would they not buy her a carton of smokes instead of only a pack? Why not separate a loaf of bread into two or three separate freezer bags so she isn't throwing out half a loaf of dry or moldy bread? Why not buy 2 litres of milk instead of one which is gone in three days. Just turn up the fridge -- 2 litres of milk will keep for two weeks! I think there a lot of things these two girls can be doing to make their own lives easier where my mother is concerned, but they seem to like to complain so maybe they don't want to make it easier for themselves. I live too far away to be a hands-on caregiver for my Mom but I try to help by offering solutions to problems. However, the absolutely viable solutions I offer are never considered -- never put into action. Like I said, it seems people would rather complain than fix the problem. I'm sick of it.