My father has vascular dementia and I tell him its not safe for him to be at home byhimself so he has to stay at the nursing home. He asks everyday when he is going home-it breaks my heart everytime I have to tell him. I dont know what else to say or how to say it without making him cry.

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Wonderful advice from Perseverance! I'd like to add that your father likely forgets why he isn't home so he continues to ask. I wouldn't lean too heavily on "you'll never go home again." Rather, as Perseverance said, concentrate on making his new home as much like a home as possible. Can he use the bedspread from home? Can you bring up pictures and mementos for the walls? Can you take him for walks or drives?

This is always hard to handle. Home signifies safety and security, so if you can keep stressing the safety aspects of where he is and help him get to know people that may help. There's always an adjustment time and for some people that is quite a long period of time. Hang in. We can hope things get better.
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Your poor father... and you, as you are reminded of his dementia every time he asks about it.

Do you have his room furnished and decorated with items from his home?
We found that Mom really responded better than expected to her room in the NH as we did just that. Her room is large and has a beautiful large window and she can enjoy the sunny skies and trees, as if she were in her old home.

One other thing you could tell your father, is that he is now in a safe place, getting 24/7 care which is exactly what he needs now.

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