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My father has dementia and is very loving sometimes and very horrific other times. I cannot deal with living with him and his two personalities. It seems like the nasty personality is coming out more and more. He hates my husband and only wants me here. I feel like I am losing my mind. I have a life that I have neglected for the past year to take care of him. I am an only child and it is tearing me apart. But, it has to be done. He is, also, getting very weak and I cannot lift him on the days he cannot walk. Also, will I have to obtain guardianship to do this? He cannot even sign his name anymore. I have Medical POA.



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Thanks everyone for your advice. Some days he can walk and is fine. He talks kind of goofy, but, that doesn't bother me at all. Then other days he is a completely different, very mean person. Calling everyone terrible names, etc. I realize that I really can't deal with this, but, I feel such guilt. Because he tells me how much he loves me and doesn't even remember that the day before he told me that he couldn't stand the sight of me!
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(I am too, arianne777, still recovering from the stress. I still have nightmares!)...I accidentally posted an answer to the question under another question, but if your father has dementia, is incontinent, can't walk, his staying in his home is pointless as the poor man can't enjoy it or live there alone any more. After he adjusts to the nursing home, he may not even realize he is in one. Get guardianship and see about applying for Medicaid if you need to, it takes a while to get it (though they will admit people 'Medicaid pending'). You have my sympathy, it is a very very hard thing to do and you must just do it for the good of your father and yourself.
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I placed my husband in a nursing home months after his hospice team encouraged me to do so. It's more than a year since he died, and I'm still recovering from the stress of caring for him at home too long before I placed him in the nursing home. Take pamstegma's advice.
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When my husband told his mom she was going into care he told her he was travelling a lot and that she would be put there 'temporarily" and it worked as she couldn't remember a conversation 10 minutes ago.
He visits her 3 times a week when he is not on the road.
It is VERY hard. some days she loves it there , while other days she says "these are NOT my people, I need to go home"

It's so sad. but the facility she is in are so GOOD to her.
We tried at home, but she would get angry and even violent.

So. try this method? I am sure more will comment.
We also went to her Doctor to get him to have her sign the Guardian/POA.
She listens to those in authority better than hubby (as hubby is the bad guy in her eyes:(:(:(
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If he is willing to make the move, fine. If he is not, you will need Guardian status and in the petition, you ask the judge to court order the move.
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