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Her grandson, my nephew, wants to move in to Mom's house with his new wife. He's lived with Mom for the past 5 years but recently married. Mom has made clear that she doesn't want another woman living in the house with her, so he moved out. The house actually belongs to me, with Mom having a life time right to live there. The nephew wants to buy the house, leaving in place her right to live there. He wants to buy it because he wants to make improvements but doesn't want to sink money into a place that he doesn't own.

They are both good people, with Mom's best interest at heart I believe. Mom's starting to need someone there because she's forgetting stuff, not eating well, and other signs of early dementia. She also eats healthier if she has to cook for someone. Of course, soon she'll have to give up cooking as it won't be safe. But for a while, cooking for others actually helps her. In the two weeks since the nephew moved out, she's already showing signs of not eating well.

How do I convince her that this is in her best interest? I've tried to talk to her about it, but she's convinced that they are going to kick her out of her house. I've attempted to explain that the life time right stays in force, no matter who owns the house, but she's not hearing that. She's also hinted that she thinks they are stealing from her, but I've proven that's not true; we found all the items she thought were gone. But she still maintains that they will steal her things.

I don't live nearby, so it's harder for me to do anything. There's plenty of family that does live close.

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It does sound as if your mom may be getting a little paranoid which can be a sign of dementia. It would be good to have her see a doctor for a full evaluation.

Does she have any close friends that maybe can talk with her about the wisdom of having her nephew and his wife live with her? If you can get her in for a diagnosis, and it's determined that she has dementia, you could try to bluff her by saying she can either have her nephew and his wife live with her or she can move to assisted living. If given a choice, she may be more willing.
Good luck with this said problem. It sounds as if everyone is trying to do the right thing.
Carol
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If she is still concerned about you or the nephew kicking her out of the house you may actually make a written agreement so that she knows for sure. Just something to settle it for her. When you talk to her you may also want to point out the positives. Instead of saying something like "you can't stay by yourself anymore" you might want to say something like "wouldn't it be nice to have someone to mow the lawn in the summer?". Maybe make a list of all of the things that the nephew could do and show her so that she sees just how much she needs someone to help her.
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