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My mom has alz and I have a hard time comeing up what to say. I am not a big talker or to writer a lot . she at times stays talking along with what your talking and then goes on her own.

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I can agree with the presence kinda being enough. I go out with my dad who is in the early stages of alz, and he is fine to just 'hang around' me with whatever we decide to do, but I do try to engage him, with chatting about the food we're eating or someone in the restaurant or point out the model of cars, anything he can relate to in a small way. And he responds until I say something else. I try to stay in the present with him.
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Picture books are good, especially with baby animals. Do not know why but our patients in the hospital loved looking at baby animals of any kind. Do not worry too much about filling in the silence. As one of the previous posters stated I believe the silences are more uncomfortable for us than our loved ones with dementia or alz. U could also put on a movie if she is still interested. My Mother enjoys movies from the 40's even if she does not understand what is going on. No need to be a chatterbox - sometimes just your presence is enough.
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Even though my mom does not talk much anymore, or make a whole lot of sense when she does, I still talk to her about anything that's going on outside the nursing home. The weather, the kids, work, school, my crafts, news that's not sad...read something that might have interested her in the past, or a book or magazine with pictures you can talk about. Sometimes picture books are a great source for simple conversation. It's not easy, but I can bet that she is glad you are there.
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I've found that, when being with someone who has Alzheimer's, I have to go into their world because I can no longer expect them to be in this world. If their sentences are fragmented or their talk is nonsensical just try to be there with them and comment briefly of whatever it is they are saying even though it may not make a lot of sense. Also, I don't believe that awkward pauses in conversation makes someone with Alzheimer's uncomfortable as it does us. They're lost somewhere in their mind and probably don't recognize the awkward pauses (this is my own theory). The pressure to make conversation is only felt by us, I don't believe someone with Alzheimer's feels this way. At least that's been my experience.
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My cousin's wife has had ALZ for decades... Maybe, if you try singing... I like the reading comment. God Bless...
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There are several books written specifically for people with Alzheimer's that have suggestions for discussion with the patient. The have nice pictures. You can get them from Amazon. My husband enjoyed them. also, talk to her about things that are going on in the family.
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Bless you -- You have your work cut out for you, but the basic thing is you don't try to have a conversation with someone like your Mom. When you are with her come planned with 3-4 positive things you can talk about: first off, ask how she is doing -- or an equally focused question that can be answered in one or two words. That usually gets the mind focused because it will be about them and is a subject they can talk about. Then you can pick a subject: a situation you ran into while cleaning the house [something she can relate to, ie ran out of vaccuum cleaner bags]; you spoke to someone the other day (that she knew and hopefully liked) who asked about her, bring her up to date on that person . . . if all else fails, then find a book, usually something funny, and start reading short sections to her. I've dealt very little with AZ but I do deal with dementia with my 97 year old MIL (who was never a conversationalist when she was ok) and, a while ago, my late sister in her later stages of MS, who could barely converse in one-word sentences. If I got on the wrong track she'd either cry or flap her hand. I'd have to leave the room for a few minutes to settle her down and then return as if I'd never been there. . . No matter what, the brain is affected. If you have a good relationship with your Mom and she still remembers who you are, many times it is just hearing your voice in 'sound bites' that is comforting. If she starts talking off on her own, let her. Just be a good listener and nod and go un hunn. That's a good thing. . . at least her mind is engaged somewhere. Best of luck to you -- it's a tough road you travel.
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I agree that it's difficult, but I try to talk about simple things that would have interested my mom before her decline - her yard, the birds at her feeder, the weather. She doesn't always respond in a sensical way but I think it soothes her that we're "talking". Sometimes she reads to me from whatever mail or paper is on the table and I just respond to whatever she's reading. I really don't think it matters to her what we're talking about - just that she's engaged. Good luck to you - whatever you do will show her you care.
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How about reading to her? It probably wouldn't matter whether it was a newspaper, a book, magazine, whatever. I bet the sound of hearing your voice would be very soothing, even if she wasn't fully understanding the words.
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You are doing the best you can.This all you can expect.I am sorry you have to deal with this.Are there any support groups in your area? It varies with everyone with this disease ,some days are better than others.There is allot of help out there ,ask you local court house to direct you.Good luck
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