She has gradually progressing dementia, and I count myself lucky that she's not hostile or really that difficult. But she can barely hear, or actually it's never clear whether she can hear but can't understand. I have to literally shout at her, loudly enunciating every. word. Eventually she seems to understand, but then 3 minutes later she's forgotten, and we have to go the whole routine again. I'm sure my shouting can be heard in the other exam rooms!
She's in very good health for being 92 with dementia, but she does occasionally need medical or dental care. Ethical doctors and dentists try to communicate directly with her, but it's just impossible - I try to explain that she cannot hear nor can she understand much of what's going on, so please just can you talk to me directly so we can get a move on and get out of there as quickly as possible.
I've asked a few providers if I can just come in without her, and of course that's not possible - I get it. But it's terrible, and having her there adds zero value to anything. The ride there, walking into the building, checking in at the front desk, the visit, and the ride back to her ALF is filled with What are we Doing, What is Going ON, I'm so Confused, Where are we Going.
So my questions of this helpful group are:
1. How do you deal with the every-3-minute repeated question of where are we going/what are we doing etc.?
2. How do you deal with the deafness+lack of comprehension = need to bellow?
3. How do you deal with health care provider visits in which the provider cannot effectively communicate with her?
I realize things could be much, much worse, but these visits wreck me for a day or so afterward. I don't have much emotional fortitude, I guess (I take after her that way).
Any ideas, tricks, tips, or thoughts from this wonderful hive mind will be much appreciated!