I just want to know if I am the only one. I have 6 children, ages 11,9,7,6,2, and 5 months old.

This is way too hard.

I am taking care of my mom and my dad. My dad has Parkinsons and Dementia. My mom handles most of his care, but she is somewhat physically limited herself because she is obese and has bad knees. She basically walks from couch to couch. She refuses knee surgery. Wants nothing to do with it. She handles most of my dads care. He doesn't need much. They both basically watch tv. I handle dads meds and cook meals and take care of their house.

Lately, I just feel too stretched to do this. I need my own home to back into, so we decided to do just that.. move back into the home that we couldn't sell when we decided to move our life here to help take care of them.

My mom is heartbroken.

I still plan on helping out a lot. I still plan on coming 3-4 days per week to run their house, but I NEEEEEED to go home at night and be with my husband and children and raise our family. I have other siblings. They help in a very limited capacity, which isn't really fair because they are all done raising their children. They are empty nesters.

Mom and dad don't need a nursing home yet. They are only in their 70s. But they do need help. It was a huge blessing to them when we moved in, and we committed to it, and now we are backing out.

I feel so guilty, but not guilty enough to stay. I have no real privacy and I feel like in this season of my life, I need it. Disciplining children and doing all the things that go along with raising children.. Everything just feels very heavy.

Anyhow, I am looking for anyone to talk to who may be as young as me (36) or who has small children and is trying to live in care take as well.


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No Emily, you shouldn't be able to handle all that's on your plate. You're human and having children and a husband of your own is enough. Your mom isn't taking any steps to take care of her health, so that's her choice. Your choice is to put your immediate family first and that's a good choice. No guilt from you - you're doing what you're supposed to do - take care of your family.
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thank you. I feel like I should be able to handle this. Its the no privacy while I raise my children that is the hardest. They have their own room, but it still often isnt enough.
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You have a lot on your plate. It's not fair to yourself or your kids and husband. Why not get some help to go in and help your parents during the day, so when you go over a couple of times per week you feel fresh and can just visit and enjoy their company. I have read that there are services for people such as your parents where people go in and take meals, help with laundry and housekeeping a few times per week. I don't think you have to qualify for it like you do for some services. I would check with your state and county to see what's available.

There is no shame in recognizing that the setup is not working and that other arrangements have to be made. Good for you. You have to put your health first or you won't be worth much to anyone.

I've recently been providing substantial care for a cousin with dementia while also providing care for a special needs child who is a relative. It's a short term arrangement. Long term would not be an option as this is too much for most people.

I wish you the best and seeking out people who are similarly situated is an excellent idea.
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