A "retirement community" that will transition from Independent, Assisted to Memory Care might be a good move for you if it is possible.
He is following you because you are his "safety net" he knows you, knows you are safe and will continue to understand him.
A place that can give you time to do things you want to do while keeping him safe is a good start. Either Adult Day Care of if possible the move that will make it easier for both of you.
If possible find a good Support Group, you will need it. This forum is great but sitting with people and talking about what is going on is very helpful. Just the contact with people is needed.
If you have family or if he has family that can help begin to ask for that help.
If possible ask if someone can be with him 1 day a week to give you a break.

Is he a Veteran? If so it is very possible that you can get help through the VA. Depending on where and when he served it might be a little help or a LOT of help. (Rules ave changed recently and there are a lot of changes that could effect the help and possibly even payment for helping your spouse)

Check your local Senior Center or Agency on Aging to see what help they may offer.
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Reply to Grandma1954

mudslidemarry - Have you thought about moving to an Assisted Living place? If your finance allows you to pay for it, then you should look into it. At AL, there will be many activities that you and your husband can participate, together or separately. There will be support if needed. Once your husband is acclimated to the place and people there, he will be less likely to follow you around like a puppy. You can have a chance to do your own things and carve out a slice of life without him glued to your side 24/7.

As his dementia progresses, AL can provide more help, or you can move him to a memory care facility. Many AL places also have a memory care wing.
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Reply to polarbear

My goodness Mudslidemary, that's a lot to deal with. Your feelings are certainly understandable, based on what you say in your profile. I don't have any advice for the care of a spouse with dementia, but, I do think that in general, I would get a consult with a good Elder Law attorney who can advise you of your situation and asset protection and what protection a spouse has in these situations. I would make that my top priority. If your DH hasn't signed documents for POA, you might want those done pronto, while he is still able.

As a nurse, you probably already know what to expect. I'd just explore how you would get the help you need inside the home or if placement would be the route you go. I know that many people recommend adult care centers, if DH is able to go, in order to give you time for yourself.

I'm sure you'll get tips from others around here, who have gone through this. Don't forget to take time for yourself and ask for help often.
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Reply to Sunnygirl1

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