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AZenHog, I'm curious. Do you get the mail, or does Mom? When it was our Mom's turn to have the keys taken away, we hid her driver's license renewal form from her until it was past her birthday - and her license had expired. Since she has dementia she couldn't remember if she had seen it or not. I know, it was mean, but we told her that since her license expired, in order to get a new license she would have to go to the DMV, take a written test AND a road test - as well as having her vision tested (ALL of these would disqualify her). I told her if she wanted to go, she would have to get herself cleaned up, change her clothes, get out to the car, I would drive her to the DMV and she would have to take the tests. She fussed and fumed for a few minutes, then pouted for a few hours, but she never did get up and make any effort to go to the DMV. Periodically the subject of her license comes up, and we calmly remind her that she is welcome to go, but she has to take all those tests and the STATE gets to decide if she can drive. It took several months, but she's pretty much gotten used to not driving. One day while we were out for a doctor's appointment, we stopped by the DMV so she could get a state ID card, so at least she has a valid ID.

Honestly, I don't understand why the states don't require people over a certain age to have their licenses renewed in person. A lot can happen in the five years or so that a license is valid, and there are too many elderly people driving around who have dementia, or can't see, or can't hear, etc. I would mind having to go in person.
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I live with me mom and I am having a similar issue. There isn't a panel on her car that isn't dented from her just pulling in and out of the garage. The frame of the garage door doesn't look too good either. One of the dents was done by another driver but my mom's memory is so bad (and getting worse) she "forgot" to get the driver's name or insurance company. My sister and I have offered to drive her wherever she needs to go but she refuses, she insists on driving. When she does let me drive she gives me incorrect directions so I am worried she will get lost like your dad, or worse - kill someone. She is mad at me and complains to my sister that I hate her. I can assure you, if I hated her I would have moved out long ago! For now I try to drive her when she will let me and back the car out of the garage when I have to. I am sending the DMV a request form to have her driving tested. I feel awful having to do this and it sounds like you may have felt the same. I was hoping she would at least be able to keep her license and dignity but let me drive, but that doesn't seem possible.
She does constantly complain about my sister's driving and grabs the dash which freaks out and annoys the heck out of my sis. Mom loves my driving, which is funny since I drive a muscle car and even stepping on the gas lightly accelerates very fast. Anyway, thanks for posting. She already thinks I hate her so I guess the DMV thing won't make a difference but will keep the neighborhood (and Mom) safe.
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I too enlisted the assistance of my dad's Dr. I had brought the subject up to my dad several times and he wasn't receptive so that's when I got the Dr. involved. I never physically took the keys away from my dad because my dad never tried to sneak the car out but I was prepared to do so if it turned into a huge trust issue. Luckily it never did. My dad grudgingly went along with the Dr. and never drove again.
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When it became apparent that my father could no longer drive safely, we enlisted the aid of his doctor to help us take his keys away. The doc sat my dad down and explained that, because of his recent driving problems (no accidents, but several incidents where he would forget where he was or get lost and just drive around for hours) the doc was going to do some tests. At the end of the testing (vision, reflexes, memory, balance, etc) he said that in his medical opinion, my dad should not be driving. Naturally, Dad was furious, but he gave the doc his keys, and he, in turn, handed them to me. My dad said "This isn't over!!!" and the doc told him that after 90 days, if Dad wanted to appeal his decision, the doc would send him to a state testing center, where they do computer simulations, give a written test and a road test. If Dad passed all of the state tests, and the state was willing to allow him to drive, the doc might reconsider. (The doc knew there was no way Dad would pass the tests, and the one factor the doc DIDN'T tell Dad is that it also requires a medical release.) He moaned and groaned and whined for the 90 days, but never said anything about going to the state testing center. We put up with occasional complaining for about a year before Dad accepted that he couldn't drive anymore. At that point his license expired, and the insurance company said we'd have to get rid of the car or Dad would have to sign it over to one of the kids, because they cannot insure a car that is not owned by a licensed driver. Since the insurance company forced the issue, we sold the car and that was the end of the complaining. Since Dad always enjoyed just driving around, I make sure to take him out for a nice long drive at least once a week. Of course, he criticizes EVERYTHING I do behind the wheel, but at least he and all of the other people on the road are safe from his driving, so I just roll my eyes and smile.
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