Follow
Share

My dad still thinks he is safe to drive but his sight is not great. So far, he has let me drive him around but lately he is demanding that I return his
car. I've had to "borrow" it for my son who is home from college but it has the
added benefit of keeping him away from it. He wants to drive is 2 miles up the road
to see my mom in the nursing home. I usually try and get him there 2-3 times a week and have arranged for a van to bring him on the off days I can't do it, but
he refuses to use that option.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Thanks for your answers. He has a drug store right across the street from his driveway which has a busy, constantly flowing drivethru. When you back out there you have to back out while these cars flow straight out the drivethru directly at his drive way and manuever through the traffic coming at you both ways while trying not to hit the cars coming out of the drivethru. I have trouble with it as there are always cars flowing out of that drivethru and a constant stream of traffic coming at you from both ways on the street. Plus, his walking outside of his home is dangerous as I have caught him falling off the curb going into the nursing home from the parking lot sidewalk, so it's 2 fold . He takes a COAST bus to dialysis and the drivers always walk him to and from the door and I do the same thing. He's ok in the house, as he furniture walks. So it's not just the walking or just the driving- it's both and his area of town has constant stream of traffic.I was working on Easter and he got his car and drove up to the nursing home for the first time in 9 months and everyone there was alarmed. I tried to get COAST to drive him up 2 exra days a week and the staff at the home agreed to meet him at the door to walk him up to my moms room but he won't pay the 6 for round trip and money is not a significant issue for him. He is SO angry at me right now as I have his car until my son's car is being repaired. I guess I could clue in the DMV who could give him a driving test which would give us both a true test of his driving ability.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I know how hard it is for a child to have to say this to a parent, especially one who is stubborn. My father, who was the good driver in the family, realized that his faculties (hearing, vision) were failing in his 80's and when they moved to an ILF he was happy to stop driving. My Mother was exactly the opposite. My brother and I went out driving with her so she could show us she was still capable and she drove about 1 block and pulled over. Of course they were moving to a place that provided driving services for all their needs. You can also call the insurance company that insures his car and state your case. They will revoke his insurance.
It seems harsh but he is a danger to himself and others on the road. A few years ago I was visiting a friend and her Mother who was about 85. I was shocked to learn that her Mom was still driving as her hearing and eyesight were very poor and she had a severe curvature of the spine. My friend insisted that Mom only drove in the immediate neighborhood. Within 6 months her Mother took out a line of cars across the street and the airbag deployment sent her to the hospital where she died because her lungs had basically been crushed(not enough room in the chest cavity due to the curved spine). To this day my friend says that she should have listened to me. The important thing is that he has accessible options for his transportation needs. Good luck.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

If your Dad can still drive safely on the road, especially 2 miles up the road to visit your Mom, please let him do that.

Otherwise, if your Dad no longer drives you will become his full-time driver. I've been doing that with my parents for 5 years now, and I am frazzled.

You'd be surprised how many places your Dad would want you to drive him. If my parents had their way, I'd be at their house 3 or 4 times a day to go here and there, because that is what they use to do when Dad was still driving.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

New Hampshire drivers who are 75 years of age or older at the time their current driver license expires are generally required to renew their license in person at a local DMV office. In addition to taking a vision test, you will also be asked to take a road test.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Thanks. I think that is a reasonable thing to do. I appreciate the common sense of your response. I feel badly as I don't want to clip his wings, but I'm pretty sure his peripheral vision is impaired. He is completely oriented and "with it" but he has always been a bit of a risk taker and his walking is a problem as well, which is why I like to accompany him to my mom's nursing home. Thanks again.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I think getting our elderly parents off the road is one of if not the most difficult thing we have to go through with them. I went through it with my dad and it was a process, it didn't happen overnight.

Take your dad to the DMV and have him take a driving test. If he passes then give him his car back and revisit the issue in another few months. If he doesn't pass he's either going to have to get on that van or not see your mom. It's his choice.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.