Capnhardass, I feel about like you on this. I am 43 and have never been able to drive due to a health condition. I didn't have any desire to kill people with my car as a weapon. If they are so shelfish or so emotionally fragile in their 80's and up to not handle it, then a trip to the city morgue to watch an autopsy is where I would head.
Just went through the same thing here with my MIL. She almost ran 3 or 4 people off the road one day two months ago and they called the cops on her. A cop pulled her over and luckily she managed to remember my nephew's number. He went to get her and drove her home, then took the keys away. He told her no more driving. She had a spare key to her truck for a while but either he or my dh got it too, so she can't sneak out either. That may not be the best approach though, it depends on the person and your relationship with that person. My MIL is very stubborn and very independent so it was hard to just cut off the driving but that's what my nephew did. He just tells her like it is and how it's going to be whether she likes it or not.
We had to address this question last year. My dad is 85 and couldn't stay in his lane, was running up curbs, hit a small wall and almost went into a culvert on the passengers side, I was there and it scared the hell out of me. My brothers and sisters were all afraid to start a war over the license, but when he was in the hospital after having a mini stroke last year, without prompting, the attending doctor told him no more driving OR living alone. He was gentle but held his ground. He told my dad, "How would you feel if you caused an accident, maybe ran over a child?" "How would you feel if everything you owned was taken away in a lawsuit?" "Your family loves you and they don't want you to be hurt or anyone else, it's time." My dad accepted, has not driven in the 12 months, but it was not without a fight. I hid the keys, that helped, and eventually he gave up the fight. Within five months, my dad lost being in his own home, the ability to drive, and then my mom passed last October. I keep my dad's car washed for him and my husband keeps up the maintenance. That is our source of transportation for him since he can't get into our other cars. Those small acts really helped, and I think he now realizes it was the right thing to do. So, I drive Mr. Daisy around! He'll be upset for sure because it is his independence, but if explained in a caring manner by his doctor, it will take the burden off of you. Best of luck!
Are you taking away their ability to drive or is a Dr? Since you are dealing with Alzheimer's and Dementia..I am sure it is coming from a Dr.
My family went through the same thing! If the Dr. Is saying , "no more driving" than I believe that they (the Dr. Need to explain this to the patient, wether in a letter or an appointment! That is their job, not ours! We had to tell our dad that he could no longer drive and it was heartbreaking to him!! It finally became real when he was told he cold loose EVERYTHING if he was in any sort of accident. My father is 80 and it was/is EXTREMELY difficult for him to loose that freedom! He felt hopeless! Everybody said no, you can not drive...but nobody was there to take him to the grocery, or to get a hair cut. Yet another reason why he needs to move in with me
Just be patient, taking away the ability to drive is a biggie! It means, very little freedom! The situation start 's to become very real for them! The loss of a freedom such as driving is HUGE, I know dad was extremely upset and did not understand how the Dr. could come up with that after the short test he took. He was confused , irritated and very upset. We to Dad that it was for his best interest. That the Dr. Thought his did not have a fast enough reaction time, and he (the Dr.) was not doing this, just to be a jerk. He did it to protect you and others. I still think he get upset, but he does understand a bit better. Good luck!!
My family went through the same thing! If the Dr. Is saying , "no more driving" than I believe that they (the Dr. Need to explain this to the patient, wether in a letter or an appointment! That is their job, not ours!
We had to tell our dad that he could no longer drive and it was heartbreaking to him!! It finally became real when he was told he cold loose EVERYTHING if he was in any sort of accident.
My father is 80 and it was/is EXTREMELY difficult for him to loose that freedom! He felt hopeless! Everybody said no, you can not drive...but nobody was there to take him to the grocery, or to get a hair cut.
Yet another reason why he needs to move in with me
Just be patient, taking away the ability to drive is a biggie! It means, very little freedom! The situation start 's to become very real for them! The loss of a freedom such as driving is HUGE, I know dad was extremely upset and did not understand how the Dr. could come up with that after the short test he took. He was confused , irritated and very upset.
We to Dad that it was for his best interest. That the Dr. Thought his did not have a fast enough reaction time, and he (the Dr.) was not doing this, just to be a jerk. He did it to protect you and others. I still think he get upset, but he does understand a bit better. Good luck!!