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Mom was operated on several weeks ago. Been in rehab at nursing home for little over a week. I was on edge before this happened. Emotionally worn out. My brain is in more over reaction than normal for me. I also think the worst right away. Even though I applied CAT techniques. I guess my brain doesn't really believe what I'm telling it.

Barbara

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That's why God gave us Ativan. Get some.
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Barbara, you need to go back to your psychiatrist. As Pam says, you need meds NOW.
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Calmer than you used to be is not really the gold standard, is it? Xanax is a short acting benzo that does not address the pervasive nature of your anxiety. Your body accommodates to it and you end up needing a higher dose. It's also a "situational" drug. You come upon an anxiety provoking situation and you take a sedating med..
Does that help you think through to a solution?

Been there, done that. There better meds, Barb. Are you on an antidepressant? Has your doctor ever suggested one?
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Dear Barbara, you make it sound likes it's your FAULT that you have an axiety disorder. It's not. Not anyone's fault.

This is really not about learning to have a better attitude, and if a doctor is telling you that, id find someone else, pronto.

I like Jeanne's diabetes analogy. This is about chemistry. Not about attitude. Go back to a medical professional who listens to you and who will work with you and a therapist to get you back into a good balance.
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In addition to all the helpful answers above, have you been in contact with elder services in your town? I was going through so much and anxiety was through the roof. The well trained social workers, nurses, etc. encouraged me to meet with a counselor at the Elder Services. I resisted at first, but then met with someone there who helped me tremendously and changed my life. These professionals deal with all the elderly care problems on a daily basis and have experienced just about everything.

Its just a thought; but of course doctors orders come first. I think I felt more comfortable with the Elder care people as I didn't have to explain too much as they have already heard similar stories and can relate. Hugs and take care.
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I am on meds. And am calmer than I used to be in a crisis. And have alprazolam for when neccesary. But I have never been emotionally depleted before going into a crisis before. Plus never had big mom problem same time as tax season. Stressed out because of worry about husband this time of year. In addition to mom problems. Got scary call from nursing home yesterday morning. Didnt get answer till now. And still things could get bad. But of course I think the worst
when it rairly happens. Dealing with worry about mom and husband at same time
every few days is hard for an anxious brain. Even though Im a whole lot calmer than the time mom broke her hip and went to rehab.

Barbars
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You have an anxiety disorder. That's like having diabetes. You will probably have it forever. As of now, there is no cure. But there are ways to manage the symptoms and minimize the potential damage.

It sounds like you know a lot about techniques for managing your disorder. Good for you! Remind yourself that you have faced things like this before and you're still here. You can do it again.

But it also sounds like you need some additional help to get through this episode. PLEASE go back to your doctor. Perhaps some medication adjustments will help. Maybe some talk therapy sessions would be good at this time.

When a person with diabetes finds the techniques and meds she uses to manage her disease aren't working as well as they used to, she needs to go back to her doctor and figure out some adjustments. Maybe a different drug or a change in dosage or some life-style advice. The same is true of your disorder. Get some medical help now.

And if it helps to vent here and pour your worries out here, we are sure here to listen. Don't see a doctor instead of posting here -- do both!
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I am on prozac. 60 mg a day. I only take xanax when I am extra anxious. Compared to what I used to be this is a huge improvement. My brain and body are usually pretty calm. It started about six monts ago. I had been working hard to teach my brain to be calmer. And I did it. But getting emotionally wornout from mom and then her sudden emergency hospitalization made things harder. If I
could learn to have a positive attitude, and change my faulty thinking I could work with this level of anxiety disorder. And have a decent life. Big if.
Barbara
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