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I was stopped by the hospital doing anything or even being with my mother when she was assessed. They said she has full capacity. They then stopped my mother signing the POA form. I am already for her finances and have been a while. But Mother never said to do the health. She has been diagnosed with dementia, but still has capacity but has for the last number of years had me dealing with her health matters. Not that she ever followed advice given by Doctors or myself. The hospital have said that Mother wants to go into a care home. She has told me she does not want to. I am now feeling that the hospital are trying to control my mother and that putting her into a care home she will deteriate very quickly and no longer a burden on NHS. I have got things set up in place at home for her but they are not listening. What can I do I am getting totally stressed. I mean why can carers not pop round in the day while i am at work and my son is at college.

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Why is the hospital saying "care center?" Are they really saying 24 hour care? It sounds like she would be left alone during the day at your house, with carers just "popping" in now and then. That is not adequate for persons with dementia who need 24 hour care.

Would you be able to arrange for full coverage while you are at work? Could mother afford that?

I think you need to discuss with the hospital social work exactly what the reasons are for recommending a care center, and what you could do to meet any objections to bringing her home.
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I experienced something similar. I hired a lawyer (to the tune of $1000 in expecting her to help us with Medicaid in addition to POAs). The lawyer's assistant, a notary and another employee (they need a notary and 2 witnesses) came to the rehab center where my grandmother is, and we all signed the documents then and there. The lawyer told me it was up to her to decide whether or not she felt my grandma was coherent enough to understand and sign. I question this, but nobody threatened to challenge us in court. My advice is to get an elder care lawyer to help you ASAP (google "elder care lawyer in [your city/state]").
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Oh but she has told me she wants to come home. Even told my Father that she can not wait to get home.
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It could be that mom wants the care home. Maybe she does not want to interfere in your life. Or any number of things. Sounds like it is time for a heart to heart. It is plenty of work to care for our folks! While she is competent she makes her own decisions until a doc or judge says otherwise.
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