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4th time in debit giving Grandson. My Mother has always given my 34 year old son money every time he asks. She has taken out 4 payday advances this month so he can party. this is the fourth time she has not had money for bills, medicine ect. I manage to get her back on track. i have durable power of attorney. She promises to go over bills each month but when she fails to do so and he shows up every payday i know better. Only when there is no choice but to ask me for help do i find out how bad it is. I gave up my home to be with her cancer. It's been 2 years I have no home, no future and when confronted with the problem so said get out of my life. And go where? She has no intention of stopping this. She knows she never goes without anything. I do to take care of it. I did not even have enough gas to see my Dr. and one can of tuna left for 4 days. She has her food items as always. my son comes over gets high in front of her curses at me spits on me and leaves with every dime including payday advances. She is not capable of handling her accounts anymore. Refuses to admit there is a serious problem. I think she has even cashed out her small amount of life insurance
and gave it to him. What do I do now? I am in her apartment, and disabled myself. Yet I do everything Cinderella had it better than i do. i only want the best for her. How do I take control with the durable power of attorney I have?
I have proof of many months of this conduct. Thank you

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What Pstiegman said. Get the hell out of dodge and leave them to each other. Next time your son comes over and exhibits abusive behavior, and has drugs on him, call the damn cops on the down low and have him arrested, and then get a restraining order.
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You are in a horrific situation. I am so sorry you are going through this. Dealing with this enabling behavior is not helping your son, and is hurting your mother. It may be the hardest thing you've ever done, but I agree with pstiegman. You need to save yourself. Please look into low income housing and move out asap. Your mother has told you to get out of her life when you tried to help. You can't control what she does, but you can help yourself. Walking away from this situation may not only save you; it may also help them to see the consequences of their choices.
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Move out now, get into low-income disabled housing and let them enjoy each other's company. Save yourself and stop letting them martyr you. the longer you stay, the more you enable them, the more they walk on top of you.
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This is a very hard situation. One problem is that getting a POA for finances will not keep her from giving your son money. Your mother would have to be declared incompetent for you to take total charge of her financial matters. She could still write checks, etc., on her own. The only way I can see to correct this in the present circumstance if to keep the son from asking for money or convince your mother not to give it to him. I hope some of the other members will have good advice on how you can do this. I can't think of anything I know that would be effective other than getting APS involved.
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