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I am a full time caregiver for my grandmother. She is currently in hospice and at the end of her life. The chaplain told us to thank her and let her go. Tell her it's ok. As you can imagine it has been rough. The other day APS showed up for a well check. She didn't have any details. At all. I led her too my grandmother's room where she tried to talk to my gram after I had already told her she couldn't respond. She asked questions, I answered. I even showed her the pressure sore on her foot that led us to being able to get a chamber bed. I gave her our nurses number, the aides number and our social workers number. She called the numbers and was given the same information, that my grandmother is well taken care of, comfortable and loved. So then the social worker shows up at 745am!!!! She comes with a nurse from the VNA but not the nurse we have. She said she had a question about my grandmother's foot. I asked her why her call to our regular nurse was not enough. Hey reply was that she had a question. So the nurse came into my grams room, took 30 seconds to look at her foot and said it was fine. And then they left. I'm still livid that anyone thought it was okay to knock on our door that early. We are letting my grandmother go. We are telling her its okay. This is a very sacred and private time for our family. This was supposed to be a well check. Why is she still around? I want to know if I can do anything to prevent her from disturbing these moments for what could be a short time.

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Well, it was early, but it wasn't a pre-dawn raid. And these two people were following a prescribed procedure to check on the welfare of a vulnerable person, so naturally it couldn't be pre-arranged. They found that everything was as described and documented and that your grandmother was very well cared for and as comfortable as she ever could be in these sad circumstances. At first sight, that should be the end of it.

But I can see and understand that you feel sore about this, and perhaps even though you know rationally that they were right to check - always check, never assume, you never know... - there must still be that unpleasant sensation lurking in the background of having been unjustly, absurdly "suspected".

Perhaps it would help relieve tension, and clarify APS's plans, if you were to put in a call on the pretext of asking about follow-up to this latest visit. You can explain that although you understand the good policy behind it, and you are even happy that your grandmother's welfare is officially important, the visit was disruptive and the family is anxious to focus only on your grandmother at this very - as you say - private time.

They are unlikely to apologise, because they followed procedure. If you get a human social worker with some common sense on the line, though, he or she might express regret that the visit intruded on the family. Is there anything else you're hoping for?
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I'm sorry for the fact that you grandmother is so ill and that you are facing her loss. I'm very glad that you have hospice involved!

APS has a duty to investigate when they receive a call of possible neglect or abuse. For very good reasons, they can't tell you where the concern came from. I wouldn't dwell on that. They've done their checking and found nothing amiss. They need to be able to check all their boxes so that there is no question about grandma's care.

I think many people in your situation become incensed that someone is checking up on them. Of course you're taking good care of grandma! Who would question that! But if you think about it, you can be glad that your local APS is diligent enough to check out every situation. I understand and empathize with your upset. But try to let it go.

Again, I'm so sorry for grandma's decline. I hope that she's at peace.
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Vent away, and hugs to you. It was probably the pressure sore making some computer far away in some back office go into a paddy and keep raising alerts, and maybe the only way to shut it up was to visit?
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Way to go. Slamming the door in their faces would be sure to allay any concerns about your grandmother's welfare and get APS off your back.

The idea is to keep things under control and make the problem itself, not so much the people, go away. Any complaints or queries about their processes or their attitude can be dealt with later if anyone's got the time or inclination to bother; but right now they are just not what matters.
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If you want to ring huge cathedral sized alarm bells in a CPS or APS person's head, just don't let them in the house. Suppose your grandmother was being abused or neglected? They don't know and they HAVE to check it out or they could go to jail. Look at it from their point of view. If you have nothing to hide, for god's sake, let them in. As for calling the cops, they would have the cops let them in. I have social workers in my family, and they have a job they have to do. It is not fun for them. They don't do it to entertain themselves.
Suppose someone was stealing her pain meds, or not changing her diapers, or letting the bed sores go? How do they know?
You are emotional at this point, I understand, but you sure as hell don't want to cause yourself more grief by getting on the bad side of a government agency for nothing. How about you sitting in jail while your grandmother dies?
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Ah. If you shut the door in their faces APS can and probably will call the police and order your grandmother removed from the home. Plus their report will state that YOU didn't let them in. Go with "any more harrassment your lawyer will be actively involved". Let it spread through the NINE that you have a lawyer investigating who made the claim. If its one of them, the problem will cease immediately. Say only that to the family until the culprit is uncovered.
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Extra people can feel very intrusive when you're spending the last hours with a loved one.
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One day I got a call from the aide that said APS was at my house asking questions. Of course, the aide had already answered most of the questions prior to notifying me, which is not cool but is what it is. Initially I was upset because there was no reason, my mom is being taken care of very well, there are no open sores, just issues with falling. Well the next visit was a scheduled visit with me so they could ask more questions to follow up with the report from whomever. They can't tell you who filed the report but they did read the report that was filed. I knew from the report that it was mom's doctor. Now, I'm livid!! Anyway, after several more visits during the times that different aides were at the house, they ended up closing the case.
Although I was upset, I didnt' have anything to hide. So I had no problem with them doing their job. It was the case worker that, off the record, recommended that I change mom's doctor, which I did. At the end of the day, I was more upset with her doctor.
Although I completely understand that the APS intruding at such a time in your grandmother's care while in Hospice is disruptive, the report was filed and the case workers have to do their job. No doubt they probably could have shown more compassion toward you and the family. But avoiding and ignoring them will not make them go away. They have to follow through with their procedure and you don't want them to think that there is something going on. Once they investigate the sore and find nothing wrong, they might make one last visit or phone call to close the case out but that should be it. I know here in New York the case is open for 60 days. I think the case worker came out 3 or 4 times on different days and times and found nothing wrong. Mom is happy and taken care of in a clean and loving environment. It didn't take a genius to figure that out :) It will add that the case worker ended up being very helpful in providing a list of doctors who work with dementia as well as contact for applying for VA benefits. I try to turn every incident into an opportunity.
Good luck. God Bless. My prayers are with you, your grandmother and family.
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When APS showed up at my house, I informed her she was always welcome to check on my Father, but requested that she inform whomever made the anonymous tip that I would pursue them legally for making a false statement, which is a felony. I also informed her that upon the next visit, I would be contacting my lawyer for this matter to be handled.
Needless to say, never saw her again. Found out through the grapevine it was my Sister causing the problem. You know the Sister who didn't visit or lend not one minute of her time to help. I would assume it is one of the NINE, so that is your problem. Start asking them to help and see how soon the "wellness checks" stop. Ask them to start taking turns to stay with her, so that APS can visit with them, too, again, and it will cease.
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Been there. Do not do anything that could be perceived as you hiding something! That attitude will only raise their suspicions and give them reason to obtain a court order to remove grandma from the home. You DO NOT want to go down that road!

When APS showed up at my door I was shocked and hurt and knew immediately who had requested the investigation. Aren't sibs wonderful? APS has a very important job to do, the more difficult you make it, takes time away from other cases that NEED their attention. Stop taking it personally and realize the person that requested them to check on Grandma, maybe in their brain, was doing what they thought best for her. And be proud that the care you are providing is good and for now they are finding grandma in good hands.

The quickest way to change that is to not answer the door, to not let them in, and avoid their questions. You will be much more comfortable with their inquiries if you cooperate.

It is stressful, but imagine how much more so if you were to try to keep them away.
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