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Great post, EKKKKG. Your last line? I believe you.
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My brothers Encephalopathy would manifest itself in bizarre ways, like 1Grace1 did, I quickly learned to accept that it was easier to go with the flow. If he wanted me to move furniture that wasn't there, I would move it, if he wanted a cigarette, I gave him a straw. Towards the end, he couldn't get out of bed, but that's all he wanted to do, I would sit him up as best as I could and make it seem like he was going somewhere until he would tucker out and go back resting. It was exhausting to say the least, you do have to find time for yourself, walks in the woods did help me re-energize myself. Everyday I would drive to the hospital or hospice, I would feel myself feeling nauseous the closer I got, but you just put one foot in front of the other and you find yourself at your loved one's side. Even through all of the worry, the anxious moments when they seemed to be on the edge of life, there were acts of kindness and love from the staff, family and friends that will always be with me. My brother was in dire straits for about 6 weeks, I have never done anything more important in my life than be by his side till the end.
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Thank you for the words of encouragement. It really helps to know there are others who are also struggling through a situation like mine. I keep telling myself that she can't help it, but the reality is sometimes she can. She was a very controlling parent back in the day. I miss Daddy so much. He was my rock. Again, thank you.
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You MUST take some time for yourself and your favorite activity. A quiet walk in the woods & breathe deep. 24/7 will damage your health and you will be of no use to yourself or anyone else. Please, when it gets overwhelming walk away for awhile by whatever means you can get respite.
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I agree with all of you; however, if I try bringing a bit of levity into our situation, Mom thinks I am harassing her and it does not end well. I am a very upbeat person and she is a complete polar opposite. My oldest son says she is not happy unless she is unhappy. I have had some tough work situations over the years, but nothing ever prepared me for the isolation of this.
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Yes, Grace!! Humor!! Just tonight, I tickled myself so much, I laughed out loud. So did mom.

She walks verrrry slowly with her walker, with me behind her giving support with a gait belt. On the way to bed, I said, "Mom, we're going to try something different tonight. Get yourself turned to start down the hallway and stop." "Oh, okay," says mom. "Okay, mom, are you good?" (My way of asking if she has her balance.) "Yes, I'm fine."

"Okay!! Now two big quick steps and cartwheel down the hallway!!" I'll tell you what, I laughed my butt off. So did mom. (Tom rolled his eyes, but who cares?)

So, listen to Gracie, Apache. And SOMETIMES let the absurdity come from you! ;)
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Laugh and don't cry. I've learn to laugh at the absurdities. So, instead of frustration, I don't get into an argument that will lead to nothing. Just smile, turn your back and walk away. Take a brake. At that point, your health is more important than his or her sanity (which we know where is at, but he or she doesn't). In my case: So what if my husband wants to go to get dress to go to bed. By "get dress" I mean: put on his leather coat, his shoes and gloves and get in bed! Really! Just let him do it. You save yourself a lot of frustration, and he's happy!
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Ditto to pamstegman's answer. We were evaluated by the county and given 4 hours a week respite. We ended up with someone who stole from us so we gave up that service, but I wouldn't let that stop you from trying. Just make sure they have a background check. The only thing that helps keep my sanity is a daily walk and listening to things like Joel Osteen. If your parent blares a loud TV, headphones can really help your sanity. They are a must. Good luck.
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Your County Office of the Aging or go to the Find Housing and Care box, enter your zipcode and click on Home Care.
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