Hi friends, I have spent a life time under a "traditional" family. Whatever my dad wanted, he got. Period. Was he 100% terrible? No, nobody is. But I didn't have a voice, none of us did. So I rebelled. I ran away from home, I didn't go to class, I attempted suicide multiple time (the real kind, not the call for help, spent a month in a hospital and physical rehab). So, speed up to now. I'm middle-aged. My dad had a stroke but still gets around. My mom 100% enables him, per usual AKA doesn't insist he wear his life alert or stop driving as his doctors have told he must. Be mad at the sickness, not the person. How can you tell when you have had a bully for a dad for a lifetime which is which? I'm utterly lost. I'm trying to draw boundaries but he will still come in to my room and close the window, without asking if I'm hot or cold. All that matters is HE is cold. All that matter is him. I'm babbling a bit because I don't know if I can do this. I'm trying so hard to support my mother, whom I adore. I'm receiving therapy now but, in the meantime, my rage is just growing. One last example. Few nights ago, my brother came home for the first time in a decade. My dad was delighted because it's his only son and, in his world, the favorite despite everything that is being done to help him is literally by the women in his family. My mom was sitting in a chair and, since the stroke, my dad can't speak. He walked over to where my mom was sitting and, after confusion, she got up so he could sit down. I was so enraged, I got up and left. If you have any suggestions on how to deal with a narcissistic elderly parent, again, one who has lived his life that way, please do help me. I want to move right back out but I can't leave my mom. She is becoming weaker from the stress of following his every order and whim. And, honestly, I want to help my dad. What a wasted life. Narcissism is a sickness. To not know the joy of giving back....that's a lonely life, actually. I switch from feeling rage at his continuing bullying (he's 82) to sadness at his fading away and a life of no self-awareness. Makes me literally a bit sick to think about. Now I need to draw boundaries and take care of me. But HOW. I'm lost. Thank you in advance for any idea's. So much.