Those of you who are familiar with my situation, know the history of my childhood and etc. Long story short, I’m not looking forward to the holiday season. My father is in a facility after a long and hard process. I know that there will be some type of argument soon because he keeps asking about days that have off for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I wish I could afford to be out of town but I can’t and I’m not going to spend my entire holiday vacation with him. I hate that things are like this and they should not be. I’m going to try my best to leave town to enjoy myself because I deserve it but if something happens and I can’t, I’m needing suggestions on how to enjoy the holidays alone. I live in an area where there is nothing to do. I have a couple or relatives close by but usually when we get together, there is always some type of disagreement. I’m just trying to keep my mood up because I can feel the depression setting in. Also it doesn’t help that my mom died two days after Christmas many years ago.
Christmas is Jesus's birthday. Which we've turned into a season that starts before Halloween, sends us into debt, and causes depression if we're not having Facebook moments to share. I'm so sorry you lost your mom during Christmas. This year, in her memory, pamper yourself instead of others. Give yourself a spa day at home and relax. Buy yourself a lovely gift and eat some of your favorite food.
Avoid giving your father any details of your days off, and see him briefly at your convenience. If it's never good enough anyway, why kill yourself? That was my motto with my mother in the last few years.
So I rented a condo at the beach oceanfront for the week, and just enjoyed the sound of the pounding waves, and the tranquility of being by myself with God.
It was actually life changing, as when we're still and quiet before Him, it is then that He can speak to us without all the distractions of life.
I HIGHLY recommend it if at all possible, whether you do it for Thanksgiving or Christmas or both.
You do you, and don't worry about what others think or say.
I think, having your head space in a good place now is a place to start, worrying about it now only adds to the up income stress.
Try to meditate, mindfulness, and practice compartmentalizing. I'm getting really good at this.
Like if I'm at moms and had a stressful time of it. I honestly talk to myself, when I leave mom's I say to myself, don't bring it home , this is over, live your life, let go let God, let the marbles fall where they may. Over and over, I get home and I feel pretty good. So have faith in yourself that you can do that and keep practicing it. It really works for me. If anyone new all the positive affirmations I say to myself, I might be in a rubber room. Lol but honestly it keeps me out of that rubber room.
Also practice, the "gray rock method." Last week I went to moms, my brother stopped in, we have very very different beliefs, I have gotten very good at advoiding any controversial issues, but when someone brings them up, I have a difficult time controlling myself. So we were sitting there and my brother started to say something, wanting to ruffle my feathers. I looked at him dead in the eye, smiled mid sentence I got up went to the bathroom, came back smile happy self and the subject was changed, and he never said another word that he new I wouldn't like.
This takes practice, so I'd start now.
Know in your heart you can go, you can leave it all behind when you leave and that NO one is going to rain on your happiness parade.
Or don't go at all. That works too. 😆 , do what's best for YOU
Don’t share with him what your days off are either . You have to stop being so honest with him regarding your own life .
I’d read , watch movies , bake , go for a walk , purge a closet . Maybe one day go to a spa .
Several times during my life I have spent a quiet hour or two just making a list. It includes everything I can think of - sights, smells, sounds, tastes, textures, patterns, colors, locations, the whole ‘raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens’ thing. The list has become longer and more detailed over time but, it’s funny, I’ve never taken anything off!
Looking at it and adding to it is comforting and it gives me a place to start when I’m feeling restless. It’s a shortcut if you’re looking for somewhere to visit or an activity when you have time on your hands. It’s super positive and therapeutic. I highly recommend it.
Use your holiday time to start your list!
If you don't get along with your local relatives, what about your friends? Surely, there must be a friend who would love to have you for the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. Or maybe like you've said get out of town. Would your daughter be interested in taking a holiday vacation with you?
It's hard to be alone on holidays. I hope you find something fun.